Nerd Church - Rebel Valentine

It's Valentine's Day this Tuesday, and yours truly is here with a typically rebellious view of all things love and romance!

(I am going to talk about sex here - not graphically, this isn't that kind of blog, but I will be talking about the topic frankly and openly. Just a warning, for those who might want one.)

This may be a shock to you, but romance and pairing off isn't the be-all and end-all of life.

I know, weird, huh?







Of course if you listen to books, films, and the media in general, then no-one can be happy without it. Especially not women.

Middle-aged, able-bodied, cishet, white dudes get the occasional 'it's ok to be single' pass, but women, and pretty much anyone else? Nope.








OK, this may seem like an anti-Valentine's post, but it's not. There's nothing wrong with Valentine's day.

If you've found romantic love, then celebrate it, by all means! And I am genuinely happy for you if that's the case.









But I don't pity single people. For a start I am single. I've actually never had a boyfriend, girlfriend, or significant other.

via GIPHY

And yes, because you're wondering but are (hopefully) too polite to ask, I'm a virgin.

(That's not to say I've never done anything with sexual undertones *ahem*... which we won't go into here... but the actual sex - or kissing, actually, for that matter - just hasn't happened yet.)









I do find it a little embarrassing to admit that. Not because I'm in any way ashamed of it, but because people look at you like you should be embarrassed, or like there's something wrong with you.

But - and this is important - THERE'S NOTHING SHAMEFUL ABOUT BEING A VIRGIN, AND THERE'S NOTHING SHAMEFUL ABOUT NOT BEING A VIRGIN.

The timing has never been right with the right person for me. And that's ok. For other people, the timing has been right, and the person has been right, and that's ok too.








I'm not naïve - I know how everything works, I have desire (except when I'm asexual for a while,) I'm just happy to wait until things are right.

And really, isn't this one of the reasons we need feminism? If a woman hasn't had sex, she's made to feel wrong or unattractive, if she has had sex, she's called a sl*t or a wh*re.

Look, I know this isn't just a female thing - but the judgement is often more thorough against women, believe me.

Why do we make such a big deal out of the social status of sex and romance? They do NOT define you as a person, they are just one aspect of a multi-faceted personality.

That's not to say that they can't be important, and can't be meaningful. But they aren't ALL there is to life.

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Single people can be happy. The 'happily ever after' doesn't need marriage, or a baby, or living together forever and ever.

The 'happily ever after' can be the hero of the story deciding that they're alright as they are - no-one has to 'get' the girl/guy/other romantic interest.

They can get a new job, a new house, or just plain decide that they like themselves - that's difficult enough.

Basically if we could stop forcing romance into plots and media that really don't need them? That'd be great.

via GIPHY

(I'm totally Panic! trash)

And if the single characters could not spend every moment miserable about being single? That'd be good too. Thanks.

Check out Claudie Arseneault's guest post on Read Diverse Books for an excellent post on centring friendships and non-romantic relationships, written from an aromantic perspective.








So, to single folks, here's some home truths:

• it's ok to be single
• it's ok not to have a long-term partner
• it's ok to not know whether you'll ever get married
• it's ok to not settle if things aren't right for you
• it's ok not to know whether you'll ever have a/nother romantic partner - if it happens, it's gotta be right FOR YOU
• it's ok to not want a romantic and/or sexual partner - some people just don't
• it's ok to either HAVE OR NOT HAVE casual sex - that's your call, no-one else's.

And to not-single folks, some for you too:

• it's ok to enjoy your relationship
• it's ok to not know how long this will last
• it's ok for this not to last, or for it to last forever, or somewhere in between
• it's ok to leave if things aren't right
• it's ok to stay and try to work things through if things aren't right (except in cases of abuse, where I would suggest leaving for your own safety)
• it's ok to do what's right for you

I guess what I'm getting at here guys is that we really shouldn't judge people by stuff like this - and we certainly shouldn't hold ourselves to other people's standards.

I know, I know, I am the world's worst when it comes to holding myself to other people's standards. But I'm slowly trying to convince myself that my opinion is the one that matters.








And you guys? You do what's right for you, when it's right for you.

Keep things consensual, safe, and respectful, and there's nothing wrong.

What you want matters guys, please remember that.














Like this post? Check out some of these:

• The Alternative Valentine's Playlist Part 1 - Diverse Love
• The Alternative Valentine's Playlist Part 2 - Unusual Love Songs
• The Alternative Valentine's Playlist Part 3 - Destructive Love
• Nerd Church - Share the Love
• Nerd Church - Being Yourself And Other Extreme Sports

Friday Fics Fix - Totally Winning

I love the TV show Supergirl. It rocks.

And I know, it sounds like it should be really naff - BUT IT'S NOT!!!!

Now, fans of the show will be aware of Winn, and aware of Mon-El.

People who aren't familiar show need to go watch it (like, now.) Because it's awesome-sauce, and even has canon (fangirling note: official) lesbian representation in series 3.

via GIPHY

Now, as fandom will pair up everyone with... well... everyone, there is a ship for Winn and Mon-El.

The name of this ship is Monwinn - which makes me laugh for nerdy reasons related to the Welsh language which I won't go into too much here because it would probably take up half a page of explanation.

Let's just say that Winn, and its many variants, is a Welsh name that can signify several concepts related to white, fair, pure, holy, handsome, perfect, etc.

And Mon makes me think of Anglesey.

(Fangirling note: ship is relation-ship. See? OK, awesome.)

This week's fic is cute awesome Monwinn dorkiness with their first date (*squee*)

via GIPHY

This week's fic then, my dear nerdlets, is:

Good Company by SnorkleShit

Enjoy the sweet dorkiness, and I'll have more fanfiction-y-ness for you next week!






Like this post? Check out this related reading:

• Friday Fics Fix - It's So Fluffy I'm Gonna Die!
• Friday Fics Fix - Shoot That Poison Arrow
• Friday Fics Fix - I Think You're My Best Friend

Comics Wrap-Up - Pour Some Sugar On Me

Film Trailers

So that Superbowl thingummy happened in the US, and somehow that means we get new comic book movie trailers so I'm not complaining!

First up is a new trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2

(Note to self: watch the first film. (Look, even I can't be up-to-date with all the superhero movies, ok? There's just so many of them!))

I love the nerdiness of giving it a volume label instead of just a number :)

And there are new Logan trailers! I love how awesome this film looks!!!!!!!!

And this ad feature thingy for Lego Batman...

...I really don't know wtf they fed the writers on this film, but it's clearly got some interesting ingredients (I'm thinking lots of caffeine and sugar!)

Webcomics

And, just like last week, I've got a little protest art via embedded tweets to show you! (Woo!)

Stay freaked out and fired up. pic.twitter.com/uY3hsFGCoJ

— Laura Park (@llaurappark) 5 February 2017

Gotta be today's best cartoon #Trump #travelban #Democracy #Constitution pic.twitter.com/uQuRfJ1ORb

— Farah Souames (@souamesfarah) 5 February 2017

Other Stuff



And to wrap everything up nicely, here's just a couple of interesting links I've come across this week:

• For Black History Month, Comic Book Resources gave us a list of 15 influential black superheroes.

• Johanna @ Comics Worth Reading wrote an excellent review of Mockingbird: I Can Explain, featuring the recent feminist storylines of beloved Marvel character Mockingbird, aka Bobbi Morse.

Like this post? Try these:

• Comics Wrap-Up - But I'm No Good, Good, At Lip Service
• Comics Wrap-Up - Destroyed in an Hour

Month in Review(s) - January 2017

Well, that was January 2017... don't blame 2017 too much, guys, it keeps following 2016's examples.

I'm sure that in time it'll move away from the influence of it's older sibling, who was, let's face it, a freaking disgrace of a year.

2017 though can still be steered in the right direction with the help of intervention programmes, and stopping it from hanging out with the wrong people. We hope.

On a more positive note, this was the month that yours truly, along with Angel, Jolien, Dina, Lara, and our fearless leader, the lovely Ely, ran #DisabilityDiaries2017.

And it rocked. In case you hadn't noticed. ;)

You can check out alllllll of the posts from everyone during the event in this Google+ collection, and most of the posts in this BlogLovin collection.

If I've missed your post out, please let me know! Some of the posts I couldn't add to the BlogLovin collection, because not all of the blogs involved had an account there.

You can also submit your discussion and list posts from the event to The Bookish Diversity Link List 2017.

So, I only reviewed 2 books in January (I know, I know, I need to review more!) and both were for the Disability Diaries:

Unspeakable by Abbie Rushton

Jerkbait by Mia Siegert

My other posts for #DisabilityDiaries2017 are listed below:

Harry Potter and the Representation of Scarring

Nerd Church - No Shame, No Stigma

The Writer Diaries - The Challenges of Writing With Depression and Anxiety

And that's January! :)

Nerd Church - The Age of Media

(This post contains gifs with jerky/not smooth motions, which may cause problems to those with photosensitive medical conditions such as epilepsy or migraines.)


We live in a world of media.

Mass media, social media, targeted media - it's all there.

And yet Media Studies and related subjects are often criticised and seen as 'easy.'

The fact is, Media Literacy is something we all need - urgently - in today's world.

Too many people are left illiterate in this area. And in a world of Trumpy McTrumpface and all the other sh**, this IS NOT GOOD.

So today, my nerdlets, I'm going to attempt to show you why you need to start thinking about this - and how you can do that:





What counts as 'media?'

The Internet, social networks, magazines, TV, film, music, and, yes, even books. That's just a few.

Media is modern life - modern popular culture, the modern world.

via GIPHY

Why is it important?

It's important because we need the relevant critical skills to analyse and think about the media we consume.

We need to understand what different pieces of media are saying about topics, and about groups of people.

All human beings have biases, therefore all media has biases.

So you can't trust everything you see.

You also have to realise that every part of the media you consume is part of a wider picture - it's all telling you something, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and you need to be able to figure out what that is.

via GIPHY

Where can I start?

Media literacy isn't something that you just magically acquire.

I personally think it's something that you have to develop over a lifetime (although many may disagree,) but the first step is understanding that you need to know more.

And while the obvious place to start in the digital age may seem to be Google, it can often be difficult to figure out what to search for, and what sites are useful.

via GIPHY

Here are a few websites to get you started:

• TV Tropes - this is a huge resource of recurrent themes, stereotypes, and symbols, within all aspects of the media, complete with examples (the site started with TV themes etc. - hence the name.)

• BBC Bitesize Media Studies homepage - this is based around a Media Studies qualification in the UK, but the information is relevant all the same. The representation section in particular may be useful to you.

• Common Sense Media - this is a site with a focus on media literacy for kids, and is aimed primarily at parents and educators; it does have some really interesting articles and resources which I'm sure you'll find useful.

OK, I hope that's useful guys - go be awesome! :)





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• Nerd Church - A Nazi is a Nazi

Friday Fics Fix - I Think You're My Best Friend

Do you feel like some Sherlock-y goodness? Of course you do!

And lucky for you, I just happen to have some. I know, convenient, huh?

I came across this awesome li'l fic - the first in a series in fact - about an aromantic Sherlock.

I've brought you asexual Sherlock fics before now, of course, but that doesn't mean I can't bring you more dammit! 

And, as I said last week, fanfiction can sometimes be a godsend when it comes to plugging the gaps in the diversity of your reading.

(And a lot of diversity seems to come from the Sherlock fandom - aka the Sherlockians - possibly because Sherlockians are a) awesome and b) completely uncontrollable. And I should know, because I totally am one. 😈)

via GIPHY

A little note though - this fic mistakenly places Aromantic (Spectrum) Awareness Week in November (possibly because this was the date of the first AAW.)

For the last few years, this awareness event has actually taken place in February.

So this week's fic is:

National Aromantic Week (I'm Not A Machine) by shnuffeluv

Enjoy, be awesome, and come back next Friday for more attempts to use fanfiction to make the world a better place (Mwahahaha! 😉)

Like this post? Try these:

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• Friday Fics Fix! - Absolutely Ace
• Friday Fics Fix! - No Sex Please, We're British

Comics Wrap-Up - But I'm No Good, Good, At Lip Service

Webcomics

In the wake of a whole lotta stupid coming out of the US in terms of policy this month, let's take a look at some excellent webcomics/cartoons/art from the webs, which make the world a better place.

(I'm embedding tweets here, and I've never done that before - so let's hope this works!)

First, let's let Ms. Marvel, aka Kamala Khan, show us how it's done:

@MaryneeLahaye @GynoStar sometimes words aren't needed: pic.twitter.com/vgSdeYTRaX

— This bear hates Nazi (@ADobsonComics) 28 January 2017

Phil Noto Revises Cover Art In Reaction To Immigration Ban https://t.co/Iwj3TuUDBz pic.twitter.com/pZeX63xE96

— Dark Matters (@DarkMattersProj) 29 January 2017

Now, let's let Lady Liberty show the world how she would greet refugees:

RETWET this POWERFUL art #MuslimBan #NoBanNoWall pic.twitter.com/xvisAnvvSa

— #HeWillNotDivideUs (@HWNDUS) 29 January 2017

My dear friend @TheKeyThief's art is being shared around the world as a call to arms. If you want a printable version for protests DM her!! pic.twitter.com/HFM4HVT3l3

— Diya Mishra (@thedimishra) 30 January 2017

cred: star-socks on Tumblr #NoBanNoWall pic.twitter.com/R5z33OoXwR

— Fem For All 🏳️‍🌈 (@projectFem4All) 31 January 2017

And just to round off the webcomics section, here are a couple of awesome artworks/cartoons from LGBTQ+  creators:

"No, not like that." #transgender #AssignedMale pic.twitter.com/FRreMKAtFB

— Sophie Labelle (@AssignedMale) 28 January 2017

Finished this one for friends over the holidays. Just some dads, being dads and gay and in love and also dads. pic.twitter.com/gzwqLgWokZ

— ✨genué ECCC U3✨ (@hrtbrokentweets) 1 February 2017

Other Stuff

The wonderful Supergirl TV series has been nominated for a GLAAD award for outstanding drama series.

The awards honour media with outstanding LGBTQ+ representation; and the current series of Supergirl has made leaps in rep. with the step of allowing Supergirl's sister, Alex, to be lesbian.

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And here's a bunch of interesting links of the comics-y type that I've come across this week:

• The lovely Tina @ As Told By Tina gave us her list of Top Ten Graphic Novels

• Swapna Krishna @ Book Riot wrote an excellent piece about Captain America and the 'should we punch Nazis?' question that challenges the comics world to do better in the modern age.

• Naja Later @ Women Write About Comics also writes an excellent piece on this topic - and points out that Cap has never been a neutral kinda guy.

• Dan Van Winkle @ The Mary Sue wrote about the California council member who was sworn in holding a Captain America shield XD

• Johanna @ Comics Worth Reading gave an informative analysis of the problems with new comics series The Assignment - which appears to be full of misogyny, transmisogyny, and transphobia. This doesn't bode well for the film version, due for release later this year.

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