Nerd Church - Behold My Selfish Kindness

This week, my dearest nerdlets, has been an... interesting... one in the online bookish community.

The centre of the interesting-ness is a video by a vlogger/booktuber who feels the need to rant for 20+ minutes about diversity being b*llsh**.

Some myths clearly still need to be dispelled. There is still so much ignorance around this topic.





There's also a lot of disagreement over how strongly people should speak/type/tweet/whatever when they have issues with someone.

I personally usually like to take the tack which focuses on the positives - supporting the good, while reasonably explaining why the bad is bad.

I know a lot of people take a more antagonistic approach, but this is the one which works for me.

Part of why I try so damned hard to keep to the positive - even when dealing with people who, in no uncertain terms, are bigots - is because I've had to learn to be selfish.

People often say that mental illness makes you selfish. In some ways that's true. But it's because you have to be.

You have to learn self-care. You have to learn to somehow put yourself before others. You have to learn that your opinions matter. Because you're never going to be able to help others unless you take care of yourself.

Part of why I don't swear and act aggressively to people who probably deserve it is because I am anxious about offending people. Yes, even people who deserve it.

I am terrified of saying something offensive to anyone.

It's part of the anxiety side of my illness - my hands start to shake and I can't breathe.

If you've never had an anxiety flare-up and/or a panic attack - imagine dying in slow motion while your body and brain are screaming at you to f**king run.

Of course, the depression side also chimes in: 'how dare you say something horrible? Yes, this person is the scum of the earth - but you're worse. You're nothing.'

I can't let either of those sides get too firm a hold of me again. I can't go back to the times where I hoped that I would die in my sleep.





This is the same reason I often won't get involved at all in heated online discussions. I'm sorry. I would love to help you. I have to be selfish. I'm finally in somewhat of a recovery period, and I can't jeopardise that.

But there are things I can do to help - I will promote the positives of diversity, I will support diverse books and diverse authors.

And I will kill trolls with kindness where possible - I like to refer to this as 'troll-hunting' ...turns out trolls get confused when you remain pleasant and logical. (They also fear the smiley face - little tip!)




I can't abide adding to the bad feeling and hatred in this world - there's enough of it without me.

No matter how horrible a person is, I can't hate them.  I hate what they stand for, but not them. They have been damaged by the hatred of the world. I pity them.

When you accuse people of cowardice or hypocrisy for not engaging in the Twitter melee, please spare a thought for the people like me, for those who have struggled and learned the hard way to put themselves first. And for those who just can't stand any more hatred in this world.

Please understand that hatred and anger can only go so far - even when justified. You need love, and pity.





Feel free to disagree with me, I'll still love you :)




Nerd Church is a weekly post where I try to make the world make sense. It doesn't seem to be going that well, but I'll keep trying!








Like this post? Try these:

• Nerd Church - We Are All People
• Nerd Church - Love Will Always Win

5 Diversity Myths Debunked

In case you aren't aware, there's been a lot of discussion about diversity in the online bookish community this past week.

Now, the purpose of this post is not to get into the who-said-what's or the intricacies of the (fairly heated) words which were exchanged on all sides.

No, the purpose of this blogpost is to debunk some of the misconceptions about diversity that seem to be floating around.

I figured it was time to set some things straight. (Particularly since the video at the centre of all this seems to have perpetuated a lot of these misconceptions.)

I'd like to point out that it's ok to disagree with what I'm saying. Just don't act like a jerk. (Great motto for life, actually.)

Myth 1 - If I read diversely, I won't be 'allowed' to read books by white, cis-gendered, heterosexual, able-bodied, neuro-typical, authors with no mental health problems.

No-one is telling you to stop reading the books you would normally read. THE POINT IS TO ADD VOICES, NOT TAKE THEM AWAY.

This means you'll get a varied outlook on life, and a chance to look at things from a different perspective.

Think of it this way - if the only song you ever heard was 'row, row, row your boat,' then you'd think it was the only song in existence. There's nothing wrong with 'row, row, row your boat.' But you'd miss out on so many other great songs.

That's what you're doing when you don't read diversely - you're hearing the same song over and over without realising there are other songs out there.

Myth 2 - This is all a conspiracy against white, cis-gendered, heterosexual, neurot-typical, able-bodied people with no mental health problems.

Are you hearing yourself right now?

I know this might be difficult to understand but THIS IS NOT ABOUT WHITE, CIS-GENDERED, HETEROSEXUAL, NEURO-TYPICAL, ABLE-BODIED PEOPLE WITH NO MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS.

IT IS NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK AGAINST YOU.

This is about the other billions of people on this planet (yes, I mean billions - there are over 1 billion Han Chinese people alone.)

How we got to the point where such a specific set of identifying characteristics was deemed the 'norm,' and dominated the global culture, (certainly Western culture,) is really beyond me.

It's about representation for other people. It's about the world not being geared to a 'select' group of people.

Sorry, but it's not about you. It's about everyone else.

Myth 3 - Diverse books aren't of the best quality. That's why they're less popular.

Think about this. It's ok to dislike a particular book, or dislike the way a particular author writes.

But if you can't find quality among any diverse books, then the problem isn't with the authors, it's with you.

The reason non-diverse books (for want of a better phrase,) are more likely to be bestsellers is down to marketing, opportunities, and the fact that biases - conscious or sub-conscious - will mean that people head for what has been established as the 'norm.'

Publishers are more likely to look favourably on white authors. Maybe they don't ask outright what your background is, but there are ways of telling.

An author named Mr Mohammed is more likely to be either a person of colour (PoC,) a Muslim, or both, than an author named Mr Jones. Of course Mr Jones could be a PoC and/or Muslim, and Mr Mohammed could be a white atheist.

But in one snap second, the person reading your manuscript will make a judgement.

And many agents and publishers ask for a biography.

You shouldn't have to hide who you are, but every word you write - from 'I was born in place with a high percentage of PoC...' to 'I and my same-sex spouse or partner live in...' - will form a picture of who you are in the mind of the person reviewing the application.

And people, unfortunately, are biased.

Myth 4 - There are no biases in stories.

Honestly, I would love it if this were true. It's not.

When the hero is almost always the white, straight, cis-gendered, able-bodied, neuro-typical person with no mental health issues, it gives a skewed view of the world.

How many PoC heroes can you name? A lot less, probably.

How many LGBTQ+ heroes can you think of? How many of those are queer women?

How about disabled heroes who don't get magically cured within a chapter or two?

How many confirmed autistic-spectrum characters can you name? How about characters with mental health problems who aren't walking stereotypes?

Where diverse characters are included, all too often they are either villain or victim. They are the people who either need protecting, or that the 'normal' people need to be protected from.

The other day, a book made me feel physically sick. The subtext confused gay men with paedophiles, then quickly threw a smoke-screen by having those same characters also be homophobic.

Yes, the only gay characters in this book were homophobic paedophiles.

This was not a self-published book, neither was it a book from decades ago.

It was published by an imprint of a major publishing house. It was published last year.

How many hands must this book have passed through without the clear issues being brought up? How did the editor let all this slide? WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE ONLINE GIVING THIS BOOK A RANKING OF 5/5????

Myth 5 - I shouldn't read stories about diverse characters, because they're not 'for' me.

I'm going to point out two things to you.

Firstly, even if a book wasn't written with you in mind, or about people like you, then you can still read it. You can still enjoy it. You can still love it.

Would you stop a queer girl reading Harry Potter because there aren't any queer female characters in it? Would you stop a deaf kid reading about Narnia because the Pevensie kids can hear?

Secondly, if you are able to read about, and relate to, historical characters from a time you'll never visit, or future characters from a time you'll never see, then why can't you relate to characters who are actually like the people around you?

People are people. (Even when they're aliens, vampires, werewolves, etc.)

If you can accept a human kissing a lizard-person in a TV show, then why is the issue that they're both female??????

(Yes, I know books and TV shows are different. But you get my point.)

Shall I sum-up for you lovely people?

Don't be afraid to read diversely.

Diversity is not a threat. It's a way of hearing different voices. It's a way of listening to each other. It's a way of beginning to understand each other.

Diversity is not a threat. It's a gift.

Like this post? Try these:

• The Bookish Diversity Link List 2016
• The Diverse Books Tag

Friday Fics Fix - That Changes Everything I See

This week, my dearest nerdlets, I have something a little similar to a fic that I recommended in 'Friday Fics Fix' a few weeks ago...

Sherlock is a TV series with a devoted fanbase  (- this is an understatement, obviously.)

via GIPHY

Clearly, he's also a character who speaks to people who clamour for someone like them on their TV screens.

Whether it's a good or a bad thing that this is all headcanon instead of canon, is debatable.

(Fangirling notes:

Headcanon, aka headcannon, head canon, and other variants, is something which fans accept and treat with the same due reverence as canon, but which is unofficial.

-Example: the Marvel movies without Ant-Man still have Ant-Man in them, you just can't see him.

Canon is the official material of the fandom. It's the things that are actually mentioned in the book, TV series, etc. It's therefore the basis of the fandom.

-Example: Harry Potter is a wizard at Hogwarts.)

via GIPHY

On the one hand, the headcanon allows a multitude of identities to find resonance with Sherlock and his character. On the other, a canonisation of one, or several, of these under-represented identities would make a huge difference for the diversity movement.

So, whether your headcanon is for an asexual Sherlock, or an autistic one, (or hell, maybe both, I'm not the headcanon police,) there is probably a fic out there for you.

This week's fic might just be it.





This fic features a Sherlock on the autistic spectrum, written by an author who is also on the spectrum.

It's a little clunkier in terms of prose than the last fic I recommended which had an autistic Sherlock, but it's still well worth the read.

I definitely enjoyed the informed perspective involved, and found the discussion of ADHD medication (something which displayed knowledge of the topic,) quite interesting.





I also liked the Johnlock aspects of this fic, as all too often depictions of autism seem to suggest that non-neuro-typical people don't have any emotion and/or can't feel love. Which is not true.

(Fangirling note: Johnlock is a romantical/sexual relationship between Sherlock and John Watson.)

via GIPHY

So, this week's fic is:

Disabled but not incompetent by WolfKomoki

Give it a shot. I'll be back with more fanfiction next week :)

Like this post? Try these:

• Friday Fics Fix - 'Normal' Is Overrated
• Friday Fics Fix! - No Sex Please, We're British

Comics Wrap-Up - You're Not From San Francisco, You're From Hunter's Bar

Single Issues

This week I read Bread and Butter #1 by Liz Mayorga, about a young Latina woman trying to make her way in San Francisco (hence the song-lyric title to this post) by working at a coffee shop.

It took me a while to get used to the art style - I think it was the lack of background in most of the panels that felt a little odd - but it grew on me.

I'll be doing a mini-review of this nearer to its release date.

(Latina, rather than Latinx, is the form used in the publicity materials from Rosarium Publishing.)

Other Stuff

Women Write About Comics talked about the first gay couple to front a DC series - The Midnighter & Apollo.

(In honesty, I didn't read all this article because it's fairly damned long. But I skimmed it and there are some good points so I figured I'd link it for you guys.)

-0-

And you can take a look at this awesome book trailer for Ta-Nehisi Coates' first Black Panther book - A Nation Under Our Feet (UK - US.)

Like this post? Try these:

• Comics Wrap-Up - Silver Children She Roared
• Comics Wrap-Up - And She Thinks He's Made Of Candy

Mystery-A-Thon Anticipation Post

Hello my nerdlets!

Today I thought I'd write a quick post about the lovely Ely's Mystery-a-Thon, which starts next Monday.

Who's running this deal-y?

Well, that would be Ely @ Tea & Titles (hence her name in the pic)

What's it about?

Reading crime & mystery books between 12-19th September, and talking about them on social media etc.

Whatever books you want - that simple.

Personally, I'm only going to be reading 'And Then There Were None' by Agatha Christie (UK - US) (because it's my birthday next week and I'm hoping the family will've got the non-too-subtle hints I dropped about the new Harry Potter, and The Fireman by Joe Hill. So I'll be reading those.)

Where can I find out more?

Over on Ely's Mystery-a-Thon post. Go check it out! :)

Review Time! - As I Descended by Robin Talley

Title: As I Descended

Author: Robin Talley

Genre: YA, Ghost Story, Horror, LGBTQ+ (F/F and M/M)

Release Date: 6th September 2016

Amazon: UK - USA

A few starting notes:

I received a free digital review copy of this book via NetGalley. NetGalley provides review copies from publishers in exchange for fair and honest reviews.

A young adult re-telling of Macbeth. In a boarding school. With LGBTQ+ protagonists. Hell yes!

I sooo wanted to read this - so much so that when my request to receive an eArc was declined on Edelweiss, I marched myself straight over the NetGalley to see if it was listed there.

And on NetGalley I was approved!!!!!!! XD XD

Happy book nerd all around!!!!!!!

Premise:

Lily wants her girlfriend to come to the same college as her after they graduate.

Maria deserves the best, and the Cawdor Kingsley prize would mean the scholarship of her choice. It would be perfect.

The thing standing in their way? Queen bee Delilah Dufrey.

It wasn't meant to go down like this. But after that night with the Ouija board, nothing goes to plan.

They wanted Delilah out of the way, and they just might get it.

Best bits:

Let's just take a moment to appreciate the diversity in this book:

The central relationship is between two girlfriends, one of which is Latina, and the other of which is disabled.

The two main supporting characters are boyfriends Mateo (another Latinx character) and Brandon.

None of this feels forced, and none of the characters feel 2-dimensional.

As well as being diverse, it is a damn good horror/ghost story.

With enough nods to the original Macbeth to keep the bard lovers reading, Talley weaves a story full of creepy tension and layers of meaning.

Because there is some deep sh** going on beneath the surface here - themes of ambition, insecurity, and hypocrisy all feature.

And Talley doesn't shy away from the issues either.

Her characters face the sting of homophobia in a variety of forms, and the irritation of being the only people of colour (PoC) in the school and therefore used by the establishment as proof that the school has left its racist roots behind.

The achievements of Lily and Mateo are often put down to 'affirmative action' - despite how hard they work, they can never get full credit for what they've done; and this, understandably, makes Lily in particular pretty damned angry.

The way Talley deals with these issues is truly skilful. She neither belittles them, nor makes them the central point of the book. They are an aspect of a complex plot filled with complex characters.

Honestly, there's so many excellent points that I could make about this book that I couldn't possibly get to them all. You'll have to read it to find out ;)

Not so great bits:

Personally, I would've loved an expansion on some parts of this book.

What is up with minor characters Austin and Felicia, who clearly know a hell of lot more than they should? Why is the dining room such a focal point for the spirits? Is the woman really La Llorona, like Mateo thinks? I NEED MORE!

It would've also been a plus to up the exploration of the Brandon/Mateo and Lily/Maria relationships.

I felt like there was so much more space for development there, and was left slightly unsatisfied when this aspect didn't fulfil its potential.

I also found the ending slightly underwhelming. There was nothing wrong with it - I just felt like it needed more POW!

('POW!' is now officially a technical term. I've decided.)

There're some issues in this book that people may have trouble with, including (but not limited to,) - death, ghosts, homophobia, self-harm, suicide, drugs, and a disturbing lack of interest by the authorities in what is happening at this school.

I didn't notice any swearing, but the odd word might've snuck in there.

There's a lot of violence, blood, gore, and references to the sexy times.

If you don't like ghosts or horror, then maybe try a different book. ;)

Verdict:

Well-written diverse YA horror with complex themes and characters!!!!!!!!

Book, will you marry me? ;)

Update 27th Jan 2017 - In the interest of fairness and openness, here is a Goodreads review from a reviewer who had a lot of problems with the representation of various people in this book.







Buy Now UK – Buy Now USA – Goodreads – Author's Site

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Mini-Review! - The Shock of the Fall by Nathan Filer

Title: The Shock of the Fall

Author: Nathan Filer

Genre: Contemporary

Amazon: UK - USA

Verdict:

'There was the shock of the fall and the blood on my knee...'

A book with a schizophrenic protagonist is a delicate balancing act. One which Filer excels at.

Matthew - our point-of-view narrator - is a complex, realistic character. He doesn't fall head-long into stereotypes, but neither is his illness ignored.

He is mentally ill. He is also a nineteen-year-old boy in Bristol. One who wants to tell his own story, thank you very much.

He wants people to listen to him - even if he's not making much sense, he still wants to be heard. And it's the characters who listen to him - even if they ultimately disagree with his opinions - who Matt prefers.

Because people with mental illnesses don't just want to be talked at, over, or around. They want you to hear them out, even if you make decisions that go against their wishes, they'd still like their wishes to at least be acknowledged.

We want you to understand that we are not children. We are adults who are ill.

If you made a decision for a cancer patient without at least listening to their opinion, there would be uproar. Make a decision for a mental health patient without asking their opinion? Meh.

But Filer explains this without ever explaining it. He simply allows the character to tell his story, and places the reader in Matt's shoes for a while.

Not that he paints Matt as an angel - far from it. He's not some martyred saint. He's a real person, with all the flaws and quirks that brings.

He's not pitied, but neither is he demonised. And that is an incredible achievement.

And I love the non-linear structure.

We experience the story as Matt does - with flitting thoughts as he moves from one train of thought to another. We experience his present as well as his past, complete with complaints at people reading over his shoulder.

This is an excellent book guys. Read it.

Buy Now UK – Buy Now USA – Goodreads – Author's Site

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