Warning: this post discusses Depression
I have not had a good week, mental-health-wise.
I had some very bad Depression days, and was generally not very good, mentally.
The thing is that when my mental health is poor, I really struggle to write.
Anything. Like, coherent sentences are a problem.
Let alone the *Writing* I really need (I explained the difference between writing and *Writing* here, if you're interested.)
Do you get the feeling, sometimes, that everything out there in the big wide world is kind of... rushed?
It's kind of fast, kind of hurried, kind of urgent.
I'm so tired of the election.
...That's the UK election, by the way.
Which is happening on July 4th, the date of which apparently led to several people from the Conservative party using insider knowledge to place bets. Classy. (Allegedly.)
You wake up and go downstairs, pausing mid-way down.
The lines of each individual stair seem to waver for a moment.
The stairs themselves seem vaguely Burtonesque - all slanted lines and moving pieces.
Your head hurts and you close your eyes.
Warning: pet death, grief
Did I intend to make this a 2-month wrap-up?
No. No I did not.
Did it become abundantly clear that I wasn't gonna get April's post done by the end of May?
Yes. Yes it did.
April was awful.
Really.
You know how my criteria for a good month is one where no-one I care about - human or animal - dies, almost dies, or gets a life-changing diagnosis?
April was not a good month.
My beautiful cat died, dearest nerdlets.
And the world feels off without him. There's a hole in my chest.
So most of the rest of April + May has been trying to get used to life without him.
...It still hurts like hell.
That boy was my everything, and I have cried every single day since I lost him.
But I kept going, despite the urge to stay in bed and wail.
(Turns out I'm frighteningly good at wailing - with frighteningly being the key word. I... did not know I could make that kind of noise. I freaked my parents the hell out.)
So, y'know, if you've got the chance to check out the posts I somehow managed to write despite the separation of my soul from my body, that'd be great... 😅
Comics Wrap-Up
Was Not Expecting That! - Wenglish in Marvel's Echo and more
Iconic and Irreplaceable - Joker: Folie a Deux and more
I Can Already Tell - X-men '97 and more
My Fangirling Heart Is Singing Right Now! - Deadpool & Wolverine and more
You Learn Stuff, I Guess - Chibird and more
The Freaking Chaos - Marvel's What If...? and more
Actually Quite Lovely - X-Men '97 and more
Gracing The Waves of the Interwebs - Deadpool & Wolverine and more
Wholesome and Positive - The Cursed Princess Club and more
Friday Fics Fix
The Nature of the Void - A The Umbrella Academy (TUA) fic exploring the nature of death, grief, and the Void
Most of You Aren't Gonna Read This - A The Falcon and The Winter Soldier (TFATWS) horror novella that is extremely well-written. I loved it. I hated it. It's so good.
Because I Am Trash - A TFATWS fic where Sam and Bucky are stuck in an industrial freezer. I stand by my life choices.
Cyberpunk Stucky - In a nutshell: Stucky (Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes from the MCU in a relationship,) as detectives in space. But it's so much more than that. I would legit. buy this as an original novel - it's that good.
Vampires and a Smidge of FrostIron - Everything's better with vampires, right? Plus a little bit of Tony Stark/Loki love.
Klaus' Ghosts In A Specific Trope - I like the fandom-specific trope of Klaus literally showing his demons to people who deny or minimise them - the emo goblin spaghetti brain very much likes, OK?
Bucky's A Literal Demon and Sam's A Literal Angel - TFATWS
So. Freaking. Beautiful - A TUA Klaus/Dave fic with Klaus noticing that, in some lights, Dave's eyes are the exact same shade of blue as his powers, the ghosts, etc. etc. Which leads to a whole lot of introspection from both of them and... it's beautiful.
Nerd Church
Can Books 'Talk' To Us? - Do you think books can send us messages?
It's OK (Just Keep Going) - Brought to you by the art of giving myself a pep talk and then posting it on the internet 😅
My Heart Is Broken... - My beautiful boy is gone. 💔
Random Audiobook Ramblings - Walking is boring and books are awesome
Unpopular Opinion: I've Never Liked Gavin and Stacey - Sorry, not sorry. It feels uncomfortable - like Wales through an English lens.
What Does 'Enough' Even Mean? - Has anyone ever reached ‘enough’?
Things Happen When They Happen - I'm trying to remind myself that, so long as I'm working on things, they'll be ready when they're ready.
I Quit Google AdSense - Because this is way too many hoops to jump through for £7
Other Non-Review Posts
Month In Review(s) - March 2024
So, that's April and May for yours truly.
How was yours?
Talk to me! 😊💬
You can follow me on Twitter @CeeDoraReads, on Pinterest, and on Dora Reads @ BlogLovin. For more ways to support me, check out the Support Me page
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| Image by André Rau from Pixabay |
Whatever else happens, Trump is guilty.
Finally there are criminal, legal, marks next to his name which can be - have been - proved.
I'm trying to remind myself that, so long as I'm working on things, they'll be ready when they're ready.
I'm an impatient person by nature - I want things done yesterday or earlier, thanks very much - but that's not the way to get sh** done in the long term.
...confessions of a rebel Welsh chick, I guess. 😅
OK - I know that there are international fans of this series, but since it's less well-known outside the UK, a little background:
Gavin and Stacey is a BBC sitcom about a Welsh woman from Barry and an English dude from Essex meeting on the internet, falling in love, and trying to get together despite being from opposite ends of the country.
It's also where James Corden hit the big time, in the UK at least. So... there's that. Make of it what you will 😅
...a post brought to you by my boredom with walking, and my doctor's insistence that, if I go walkies, it'll help with my mental health. (I'm not buying it - it's never helped before, but I'll try anything.)
When there's been no rain for a couple of days in a row, it's not so bad 'cos I can go to the woods, but otherwise said woods are like a very slippery mudslide.
So if it's been raining within 48-72 hours, then I have to walk around streets and shops and sh** so I don't trip, fall, and end up in the river/bang my head on a tree/anger one of The Fair Folk by falling into them or summat.
*Sigh* The woods are my natural habitat, dammit!
Warning: pet death
One of my cats died this week.
My beautiful boy had a seizure in my arms, and never fully came back. We had to take him down the vets to ease his journey.
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The world is a total mess, but it's OK, just keep going.
There's war and floods and famine and disease, but it's OK, just keep going.
The things that bump in the night are real, but it's OK, just keep going.
March wasn't great.
Not terrible - but then, the bar for terrible is pretty high (or low, depending on your perspective, I guess,) at this point - but not great.
Basically: my mental health sucks at the moment.
Do you think that books can send us messages?
I've been re-reading Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl -
so that I can finally move on to the second book in the series with some sort of familiarity with these characters because my brain is swiss cheese
- and I'd forgotten that there was a scene, in the library, where the books are 'talking' to the main character.
Can someone tell me how to assess your own writing?
Because I am not good at judging the quality of the stuff I write!
The participation trophies were never the problem.
