Review Time! (& GIVEAWAY! [closed]) - Star-Shot by Mary-Ann Constantine

Title: Star-Shot

Author: Mary-Ann Constantine

Genre: Magic Realism*, Sci-Fi* (*ish)

Amazon: UK - USA

A few starting notes:

I received a free copy of this book from the publishers, Seren Books, in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Well dearest nerdlets, today is my 2-year blog anniversary!

And, to celebrate, Welsh publishers Seren Books (Seren means star - yay, shiny!) have agreed to give-away 1 copy of Star-Shot by Mary-Ann Constantine.

So let's get on with this!

Premise:

In a version of the Welsh capital that is almost, but not quite, our own, something strange is happening in the city of Cardiff.

Pockets of silence are appearing - areas which seem to muffle, mute, and eliminate sound.

Against this backdrop, the winding nature of everyday life draws a group of people together; an unlikely group, who are, in one way and another, affected by the silence - can they also have an effect on it?

Best bits:

This whole book has an uber-cool atmospheric deal-y going on; like a fable or a myth, only with more of a contemporary setting, and it works very well. :)

I quite like the quick slips between Welsh and English.

This switch between the two is done well enough that non-Welsh-speaking folks will be able to follow without taking an intensive language course, but it still allows Welsh to have a place in what is otherwise an English novel.

The sense that this is a novel weaved together so that it fits as it's supposed to is strong throughout, and the language is languid and gentle without verging on boring.

I also love the way a multi-character cast is juggled so well here, never forgetting about anyone along the way.

And is there diversity? Yes, my nerdlets, there is.

We have named PoC characters who become more integral as we continue through the plot, and we also have a fair whack of disability representation on top.

I love that Lina, a Syrian refugee, is smart, clever, resourceful, and a scientist, despite the fact that she works as a cleaner in Cardiff.

And, I won't give it away because of spoilers, but there's a pretty damn good message here too.

Not so great bits:

None of the dialogue is in speech marks, it's all just part of the other text.

While this is clearly a clever way of showing the disconnect and muffling quality of the silence, it's not practical and led to me like: was this out loud? Who said that?

Yes, it's nice to be smart and experiment. No, it's not too big a deal. Yes, it is irritating.

Also, there was less of a sense of place than I was expecting.

I know Cardiff - yes, the features are Cardiff (with some of those quirky alternate-reality exceptions) but to me it didn't feel like Cardiff. 

This may just be me - I'm notoriously bad at sense of place in books (and in life... I get lost a lot...)

Also, while I liked the bilingual elements, your average day in Cardiff will involve a lot less Welsh language than this book suggests.

Verdict:

OK, this book is weird - but it's a good weird.

It's the kind of weird which keeps you reading, keeps you guessing, and is just my cup of tea (or coffee - I'm one of the few British people who can't stand tea. I know, she's a rebel.)

Buy Now UK – Buy Now USA – Goodreads - Seren Books

Giveaway details

OK guys - it's as simple as this: RT this tweet and FOLLOW my Twitter account, and you could be getting your very own copy of Star-Shot, courtesy of publishers Seren Books.

Open from 9.30 GMT on 31st October 2016 to 9.30 GMT on 1st November 2016. Open Internationally.

Mental Health Conditions ARE Real Problems - And Books Need To Realise It

(This post discusses mental illness, negative representations and perpetuation of stigma around mental health, depression, anorexia, and suicide.)




Don't you hate it when you're reading a fairly awesome book, and then there's some ignorant and hurtful mental health representation just thrown in there?

You're there, enjoying yourself, and suddenly there's an ignorant portrayal of mental illness which does nothing but perpetuate the stigma around these conditions.

OK, let me rewind and explain what brought this on:

I've just finished reading We Need New Names by NoViolet Bulawayo (UK - US.)




Overall, this is a great contemporary novel about our point-of-view protagonist, Darling, growing up in Zimbabwe, and then moving to America.

It's not a perfect book - but then, what is? I was enjoying it though - but there was a chapter which left me with a sour taste.





What was my problem with it? Well, dearest nerdlets, I'll tell you.

In this particular chapter, a few chapters before the end, there is a rich, white, American girl called Kate. Darling does some cleaning work for her father.





Kate tried to kill herself not long before the two girls meet. Kate is starving herself because she thinks she's fat, even though she's super skinny.

Kate is clearly anorexic, and depressed.

Darling's reaction? Well, Darling's reaction is to laugh at her. Because according to Darling, Kate has no 'real' problems, and is therefore being ridiculous.

Let me make this clear: mental illness is not directly linked to what money you have. Mental illness does not care how comfortable your living conditions are.

Mental illness is not something you can get over simply by being more grateful for what you have, and neither is it a result of being ungrateful.

Mental illness can happen to anyone. At any time.

This depiction of Kate as nothing more than a silly, spoilt, rich girl is harmful. You don't get to judge her - no matter who you are.

We are given no background on Kate, and no rectification of these implications about her. She appears only in this chapter, and then is gone, not to be mentioned again.





Her pain - and the pain of millions of people like her - are used simply as a way of saying that American kids are ungrateful and complain too much, when other people have it a lot worse.

Yes, there are people who are worse off financially etc. than Kate. She has a safe home, a fridge full of food (as Darling points out,) and an overly-spoilt little dog which has its own wardrobe.

But pointing these things out to people with mental health problems does nothing but make them feel worse.

Again - just to reiterate - MENTAL ILLNESS DOES NOT CARE IF YOU ARE A PRINCESS OR A PAUPER.

You can be a millionaire with a mental illness. You can be in poverty and have a mental illness (and certainly, I'm not denying that there are often higher rates of mental health problems amongst those with lower incomes.)





Being unwell - being ill - with a potentially fatal illness (depression can kill; anorexia can kill,) is NOT BEING UNGRATEFUL.

And it's time people started to realise that.









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• The View From Both Sides

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Mini-Review! - Finders Keepers by Stephen King

Title: Finders Keepers

Author: Stephen King

Genre: Crime, Thriller

Series: Bill Hodges #2

Amazon: UK - USA

Verdict:

After reading the first book in this series, Mr Mercedes, a little while back, I wanted to read the sequel.

So, yes, this book is a sequel.

It's actually very different in terms of tone to Mr Mercedes - the central crime-fighting team takes a bit of a back-seat to the plot here - but I actually would recommend reading Mr Mercedes first, rather than reading this as standalone.

(This advice is coming to you from someone who reads most series in a random order according to mood and what book was in the library.

So people who like things organised - and you know who you are - you will definitely want to read Mr Mercedes first.)

This though, is not a book that's that much about our main characters.

I know, that sounds crazy. But this is a book where the central characters of this series are very much in the background.

Instead, our focus is on a decades-old crime, (which, a la Mr Mercedes, we already know the perpetrator of,) and it's unforeseen affect on a teenager from the present day.

This is a tale of literary obsession which bookish folks will recognise as the potential frightening extremity of fandom. This is about the power of words, and people who will literally kill to possess them.

Because this is what happens when the teenage Peter Saubers finds the missing notebooks of a murdered literary genius. This is what happens when the person who hid them wants those notebooks back...

This isn't for the faint of heart - but then, it's Stephen King; even though it's not horror as such, you probably guessed that it was going to be dark.

I found the final showdown pretty disturbing, in honesty. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing ;) But yeah, I actually flinched; it was pretty damn vivid.

There's loads of violence, a shed-load of swearing, and slurs of various sorts from some pretty horrible people.

There's also a lot of reference to rape - there's a lot of rape-as-incidental-plot-point in this book. It's not gratuitous, but it's also very uncomfortable.

I'm glad that black character Jerome is phasing out his jive-talking alter-ego (who consciously came out whenever Jerome decided to act like a jack-a*s,) because that was one of the things that bugged me most about the previous book.

A white dude writing a black character who liked to mock negative stereotypes by inhabiting those stereotypes was a very fine line to tread, and I'm glad that aspect of Jerome's character seems to be falling by the wayside.

I still love our female crime-fighter Holly - the sidekick to main character, ex-cop Bill. She's fab.

She's strong, smart, and has OCD and anxiety problems. And she still kicks a*s.

Allow me to indulge myself in an awesome heroine with mental health problems, ok? ;)

Buy Now UK – Buy Now USA – Goodreads – Author's Site

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Nerd Church - Dear Tommy Wallach: An Open Letter

(This post is going to deal with such heavy topics as suicide, mental illness, and people acting like f**king jerks.)

Dear Tommy Wallach,



You don't know me, in fact, it's likely you'll never read this letter. But it's important that I write this.

You wrote a book. A YA book which deals with suicide. That's a heavy topic, and one which should be handled with the utmost care.

Given your behaviour on Twitter, I doubt very much you have the maturity to handle this topic.

You made a joke. A cruel joke. This is what you said:

Clearly, from your lack of an effective apology, and your decision instead to lock down your account, you don't understand what you did wrong.

People understood that this was a joke. No need to keep repeating that. We just didn't think it was funny.





The flippancy with which you spoke about jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge - one of the key themes of your novel, apparently - was horrible.

There have been times in my life where I've thought about ending things.

Take it from someone who has dealt with depression and anxiety for well over two years - people referring to suicide in this way is hurtful.





Firstly, you are saying our lives mean nothing more to you than a cheap joke, used for your own purposes.

You are being callous, cruel, and uncaring.

You are telling people who are already low that they have no meaning. Have you got any idea how little it might take to tip someone over that edge?





Secondly, you are disrespecting every single family member of every single suicide victim in the world. You are saying their loved ones' deaths are funny.

You are saying their hurt means nothing, that those people meant nothing - that they weren't wonderful sparks of light that were taken too soon. That they weren't someone's sibling, spouse, child, parent, grandparent, cousin, friend...

They were. Do not disrespect their memories.





Thirdly, you referred to the bridge as 'sexy' - claiming this was why you wouldn't mind jumping off it. Do not needlessly romanticise suicide.

It's not made any better by the fact that it's in a pretty location. People still die.

Known suicide spots attract the suicidal because human beings follow the examples of others.

The Golden Gate Bridge is one of the most deadly suicide spots in the world.






Do you know what it's like to live near a suicide spot - even a small one? My nearest local suicide spot is less than ten minutes away on foot.

There are several others close by. Every time something happens, your heart breaks.

And the aura around these places - or around a spate in suicides in a town or county, is like a lead weight pushing you into the ground.

But when you're feeling particularly low? Those places call out to you, even if it's just a little. Because wouldn't it be easy to...? And you can't think like that.

10 minutes from my home. I have to pass it to go to the shop for milk. I have to pass it on my way to and from doctor's appointments. Think about how that feels.

And you certainly have absolutely no right to put that idea into someone else's head.





I cast my mind back, when I was reading your dumpster fire of flippant stupidity and defensive faux-apologies, to the times when I have considered ending things.

If I came across your tweet - casually, on my feed? If I had come across that at my lowest of moments?

It may honestly have been enough - especially if you were someone I followed ardently. You would have killed me.

So, Tommy Wallach. Please understand that your words matter, they are powerful - which, as a writer, you should have realised before now.

Yours,

Cee

If you need help:

The Samaritans (not a religious organisation) in the UK are always happy to hear from you about literally anything.

You can ring them free if you're feeling suicidal - or if you're just bored or lonely and want a chat.

Their number is 116 123 in both the UK and ROI.

You can e-mail them at jo@samaritans.org

You don't have to be suicidal to get in touch with them - they're there to talk about anything, big or small.

International Helplines:

• List of suicide helplines/hotlines worldwide
• Wikipedia list of suicide helplines/hotlines worldwide
• STOP-Homophobia.com's list of international suicide helplines/hotlines

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Friday Fics Fix - Shoot That Poison Arrow

Fanfiction is often far more willing to depict the diverse make-up of the world we live in than mainstream media.

I find it easier to find diversity in fanfiction than in almost anything else.







And while there are certainly issues with representation in places, you're never far from an exploration of mental illness, or a domestic LGBTQ+ drama.

(Just one  of the myriad of reasons I love fanfiction!)

So, my dearest nerdlets, I have brought you much diverse fics in the past, including (and not limited to):

an autistic Sherlock

an autistic Loki

an asexual Sherlock

Iron Man dealing with PTSD

Bucky Barnes dealing with PTSD

...and more LGBTQ+ relationships than I have room to mention here (including that one time there were Stucky mermaids... yeah... MCU fandom likes merpeople. Don't ask me why, because I really don't know.*)

(*Fangirling notes:

Stucky = Steve Rogers (Captain America) and Bucky Barnes in a relationship.

MCU = Marvel Cinematic Universe.)








And this week I'm going to bring you another fic which deals with mental illness: this time based on DC's Arrow TV series.

(If you haven't seen Arrow before then dude, GO FIND IT AND WATCH IT!!!!)

This is another fic about PTSD - something the series touched on in the first season or so but really didn't actually properly freaking deal with!

via GIPHY

Clearly, fandom as a whole has realised that superheroes are a prime PTSD-risk - what with all the troubled childhoods, torture, and generally traumatic experiences.

In fact, PTSD is most definitely something that mainstream series/movies need to address - it's not a weakness.

And fandom, unlike the mainstream media, refuses to ignore these things ;)

via GIPHY

I love the way this fic details the physical effects of mental illness, and doesn't shy away from the realities.

This is actually the start of a fic-series, so I may very well be trying the other parts of this!








So, this week's fic is:

Flight Path by whiteraven1606



Enjoy! And I'll be back with more fanfiction next Friday.






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Nerd Church - Behold My Selfish Kindness

This week, my dearest nerdlets, has been an... interesting... one in the online bookish community.

The centre of the interesting-ness is a video by a vlogger/booktuber who feels the need to rant for 20+ minutes about diversity being b*llsh**.

Some myths clearly still need to be dispelled. There is still so much ignorance around this topic.





There's also a lot of disagreement over how strongly people should speak/type/tweet/whatever when they have issues with someone.

I personally usually like to take the tack which focuses on the positives - supporting the good, while reasonably explaining why the bad is bad.

I know a lot of people take a more antagonistic approach, but this is the one which works for me.

Part of why I try so damned hard to keep to the positive - even when dealing with people who, in no uncertain terms, are bigots - is because I've had to learn to be selfish.

People often say that mental illness makes you selfish. In some ways that's true. But it's because you have to be.

You have to learn self-care. You have to learn to somehow put yourself before others. You have to learn that your opinions matter. Because you're never going to be able to help others unless you take care of yourself.

Part of why I don't swear and act aggressively to people who probably deserve it is because I am anxious about offending people. Yes, even people who deserve it.

I am terrified of saying something offensive to anyone.

It's part of the anxiety side of my illness - my hands start to shake and I can't breathe.

If you've never had an anxiety flare-up and/or a panic attack - imagine dying in slow motion while your body and brain are screaming at you to f**king run.

Of course, the depression side also chimes in: 'how dare you say something horrible? Yes, this person is the scum of the earth - but you're worse. You're nothing.'

I can't let either of those sides get too firm a hold of me again. I can't go back to the times where I hoped that I would die in my sleep.





This is the same reason I often won't get involved at all in heated online discussions. I'm sorry. I would love to help you. I have to be selfish. I'm finally in somewhat of a recovery period, and I can't jeopardise that.

But there are things I can do to help - I will promote the positives of diversity, I will support diverse books and diverse authors.

And I will kill trolls with kindness where possible - I like to refer to this as 'troll-hunting' ...turns out trolls get confused when you remain pleasant and logical. (They also fear the smiley face - little tip!)




I can't abide adding to the bad feeling and hatred in this world - there's enough of it without me.

No matter how horrible a person is, I can't hate them.  I hate what they stand for, but not them. They have been damaged by the hatred of the world. I pity them.

When you accuse people of cowardice or hypocrisy for not engaging in the Twitter melee, please spare a thought for the people like me, for those who have struggled and learned the hard way to put themselves first. And for those who just can't stand any more hatred in this world.

Please understand that hatred and anger can only go so far - even when justified. You need love, and pity.





Feel free to disagree with me, I'll still love you :)




Nerd Church is a weekly post where I try to make the world make sense. It doesn't seem to be going that well, but I'll keep trying!








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Mini-Review! - The Shock of the Fall by Nathan Filer

Title: The Shock of the Fall

Author: Nathan Filer

Genre: Contemporary

Amazon: UK - USA

Verdict:

'There was the shock of the fall and the blood on my knee...'

A book with a schizophrenic protagonist is a delicate balancing act. One which Filer excels at.

Matthew - our point-of-view narrator - is a complex, realistic character. He doesn't fall head-long into stereotypes, but neither is his illness ignored.

He is mentally ill. He is also a nineteen-year-old boy in Bristol. One who wants to tell his own story, thank you very much.

He wants people to listen to him - even if he's not making much sense, he still wants to be heard. And it's the characters who listen to him - even if they ultimately disagree with his opinions - who Matt prefers.

Because people with mental illnesses don't just want to be talked at, over, or around. They want you to hear them out, even if you make decisions that go against their wishes, they'd still like their wishes to at least be acknowledged.

We want you to understand that we are not children. We are adults who are ill.

If you made a decision for a cancer patient without at least listening to their opinion, there would be uproar. Make a decision for a mental health patient without asking their opinion? Meh.

But Filer explains this without ever explaining it. He simply allows the character to tell his story, and places the reader in Matt's shoes for a while.

Not that he paints Matt as an angel - far from it. He's not some martyred saint. He's a real person, with all the flaws and quirks that brings.

He's not pitied, but neither is he demonised. And that is an incredible achievement.

And I love the non-linear structure.

We experience the story as Matt does - with flitting thoughts as he moves from one train of thought to another. We experience his present as well as his past, complete with complaints at people reading over his shoulder.

This is an excellent book guys. Read it.

Buy Now UK – Buy Now USA – Goodreads – Author's Site

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Nerd Church - When Are You 'Good Enough?'

Dearest nerdlets, ambition is a great thing to have. It means you wanna follow your dreams - and that's fab.

But dudes, if you're anything like me, you may have a tendency to feel like you're not 'good enough' - no matter how hard you try.

The thing is... we're too hard on ourselves.

As long as we gave it a shot, we should accept that we did do 'good enough.' Who decides what 'enough' is anyway?

Ambition is great. But pushing yourself until it hurts and then being down on yourself that you didn't do 'enough?' Take a break. That's a good way to hurt yourself.

The important bit, my dear nerdlets, is to keep going. Pace yourself. Feel proud of the small achievements. Celebrate every step you manage along the way.





But if you think you're not 'good enough?' That you're not doing 'enough,' not strong 'enough,' not skilled 'enough,' then think of it this way:

Think of your best friend in the world. Think of them being in exactly the same situation you're in now. Would you criticise them? Would you tear them down?






No, 9 times out of 10, you would build them back up again (and the 10th time is reserved for illegal stuff, like drug-dealing; and stupid stuff, like wanting to eat paint.)

So, little nerdlets, let me explain something (something which I need to learn myself):

You are 'good enough.' You just have to believe it.






'Nerd Church' is a weekly post where I blather on and pretend I know what I'm talking about discuss 'issues,' social stuff, and life in general. :)

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Review Time! - Last Night, A Superhero Saved My Life By Liesa Mignona (Ed.)

Title: Last Night, A Superhero Saved My Life

Editor: Liesa Mignona

Genre: Non-fiction, Essays

Amazon: UK - USA

A few starting notes:

I received a free digital review copy of this book via NetGalley. NetGalley provides review copies from publishers in exchange for fair and honest reviews.

Frequent readers of this blog will be aware that yours truly is a nerdgirl extraordinaire with much-love for the superpowers and the capes.

Superheroes are more than just characters to me - like books in general, they are a lifeline.

This book - about how superheroes can be real-life heroes too - was calling out my name.

Premise:

Superheroes can be a huge part of our lives - in this compilation, contributors from Neil Gaiman, to Jodi Picoult, to Leigh Bardugo, write about what superheroes mean to them.

Best bits:

I dare anyone to not find something here which speaks to them.

Whether you're a superhero fan or not, you will find one essay at least, among the many here, which shows how the deepest meanings can be found in the pop culture we drink in every day, often without giving it a second thought.

And it will serve as an explanation, I hope, to all of the people who look at cosplayers, comic-conners, and fandom, with disdain.

There are reasons we love this stuff. Heroes matter.

Those of you already converted to all things labelled 'Marvel' and/or 'DC' will love this book. It's a celebration of the things we love, by others who love them too.

This book shows that superheroes are as versatile as their readers - often fun and light-hearted, with a variety of traumas and complexities in their histories, who, at the end of the day, are human. (Yes, superhuman counts as human too.)

And, as most of the contributors are already writers of a pretty high calibre, the whole thing manages to flow pretty damned well.

I read it straight-through, but the beauty of an essay book is that it's easy to dip in-and-out of. If you don't connect with one essay, just find one that's more interesting to you :)

Not so great bits:

OK, so, there were superheroes discussed here which won't be known to the general public (i.e. the non-nerdy,) and there were a couple that left even me wracking my brains for reference-points.

I managed to muddle through, but readers who are less knowledgeable on all things hero may wind up skipping the odd essay here and there.

And, obviously, when given a book with this amount of voices you aren't going to agree with all of them.

The essay about Wolverine promoting 'real' masculinity? Yeah... I wasn't a fan. Especially as 'real' masculinity here seemed to involve promoting violence. Just not my thing, pal, sorry.

For people who dislike such things, I should mention that there's swearing.

Also, this book deals with a lot of issues which people may find themselves coping with.

Including (but not limited to): bereavement, mental health problems, sexual abuse, child abuse, and a huge amount of family issues.

It's all handled very well, but I thought that I'd give you the heads-up: this is a beautiful book, but it deals with some very hard subjects.

Verdict:

Any fans of superheroes (or those who want to understand the proper care and maintenance of your nerd,) will find a beautiful and inspiring collection of personal experiences.

Sometimes, superheroes are real heroes too.

Buy Now UK – Buy Now USA – Goodreads

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