Sunday, 15 April 2018

Nerd Church - 4 Rules For World Leaders on Twitter

I can't create world peace.

I wish I could, but dude, they won't name me supreme leader of everything.








circle of social media and website icons with help written in the middle - a finger is pushing the word help








So I can't do anything about Syria or Russia or chemical weapons or drone strikes or any of that stuff. Much as I'd like to.

What I can do, is explain 4 rules for world leaders using social media (and, let's face it, Twitter in particular,) that will stop us all from escalating things quite so quickly.














1. Don't let Donald Trump online without someone editing what he's saying.

This is a no-brainer. Someone needs to be monitoring his sh**. The other steps don't work if you let him loose.

You can stop him from accessing Twitter by himself by changing the password to something he'd have to spell correctly.

Or ban him from Twitter entirely, that works too (whoever does this deserves a Nobel Peace Prize btw.)







Leslie Jones SNL 'It was password!' gif
Why do I have the sinking feeling that this is his actual password?
Via Giphy









2. Do NOT have 'you're so fat' insult-trading pi**ing contests with Kim Jong-Un.

That pretty much explains itself.

Don't do it with anyone else either. It's unprofessional. And dangerous.







Mean Girls, Regina George, 'Can I just say we don't have a clique problem at this school?' gif
via Giphy








3. Don't announce military action or escalation of international disputes via Tweet.

Be classy. Be professional. Tweeting is not the medium you need to be using.

Have the guts to speak to a camera, or at the very least, write a long and carefully worded statement. You're paid enough, put some effort in.









Dumbledore 'soon we must all face the choice between what is right, and what is easy' gif
Via Giphy












4. Tweet cat pics.

Dog and panda pics, amongst other cute animals, are also acceptable. Let's face it, it'll make the world a much better place!







adorable gif of cats kissing Spidey & Mary Jane style
Via Giphy













Does anyone have any ideas for world peace? 'Cos I think we need 'em.












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Last Update: 18th April 2018

12 comments:

  1. Totally agree on this. Some of the stuff he puts in twitter makes it sound more like he’s a parody account than an actual leader of a country.

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    Replies
    1. Maybe it's all just one big joke by the Americans, and they'll turn around next year like 'fooled ya!' We can dream, right...?

      Delete
  2. Oh my gosh so true right? Just ban the idiot from Twitter. that right there would make the world a saner, safer place. Twitter, are you listening????? *crickets* typical.

    I like your cat pics ideas too. Like those ones where like 5 cats are laying on top of each other sleeping (how is that comfortable?). That would certainly help world peace.

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    1. It takes a lot for Twitter to even suspend an account tbh *sighs* The person who did so for Trump's account on their last day needs to be given a job in international relations. Seriously.

      I know, right? Cat pics solve everything! And I think what you're referring to is called a Meow-tain! XD

      Delete
  3. SEriously someone needs to just pry the phone/computer out of Trump's hands and change the password or something. His tweets are like things a ten-year-old would say? But involving political leaders and really serious stuff??? Some days I just stop for moment and stare at the computer because I still can't fathom that this is the US president.

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    1. It's proper schoolboy stuff, right? We need to change it to a word he can't spell. Or, like, the British spellings of things like 'colour' and 'aluminium' - world peace one step closer. Right there.

      Delete
  4. I wouldn't mind having you as our world leader, Cee Arr! :)
    ...especially if it meant I never had to listen to a Trump-ertantrum on Twitter or on the news ever again. I guess all I can do is continue to vote and hope for the best. Twitter does need more cat pictures.
    ~Litha Nelle

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    Replies
    1. Ha, I think that would probably be a highly dangerous proposition ;)

      Yes - use your vote! Always use your vote! XD

      And ofc, cat pictures rock ;)

      Delete
  5. I could edit that first rule to "Don't let him online at all" xD and I agree about tweeting cat pics :D alternatively - doggo or hedgehog picks could work too.
    Related - today I saw an article (in Russian, can't share for that reason) about a Husky who was raised by cats! (well, raised in a house with many cats.) Basically, the doggo lies like a cat, watches stuff through windows, LOVES GETTING IN BOXES, looks at you from below like a cat and never barks. THE MOST ADORABLE THING EVERRRR. If you still want the link to the Russian article cause at least it's got pics, message me on Twitter xD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooh I think I've seen that! The dog sits in the window and judges you! Lol XD <3 <3 <3

      Delete
  6. oh man it is soooo embarrassing for us to have this guy represent our country. because:
    1) he is the president and most importantly...
    2)WE elected him [not me!]

    WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT US???

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    Replies
    1. Urm... as a Brit, I refrain from answering that question! ;)

      Delete

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