I did. Thing is, that girl - that ball of spite who I can't remember ever saying anything nice (and not just to me,) has found herself a degree of success.
Not a huge amount, it's true.
But the local press (who have very little to report usually - all the things that actually happen here are quietly pushed under the rug,) are just pleased as punch.
Should I just be happy for her?
Because honestly, I can't bring myself to be. I do not wish ill on her - God, no! But I can't be happy for her either.
She's getting all this attention and I'm here, struggling to make my own way in the world with my blog, my self-employed job, my childhood bedroom, and a side-order of depression and anxiety.
Does that make me a bad person?
I thought there was supposed to be some sort of natural balance...
We're always told when we're kids that if we're nice, good things will happen to and for us. And if we're horrible, then horrible things will happen.
Unless this girl has changed a lot in the few years since I last saw her - and I knew her for well over a decade before that - then, I'm sorry, but she is not a nice person.
So why does the universe seem to be on her side?
So, what to do...?
Well the simple answer is this: nothing.
I need to take a deep breath, and not think about it.
Instead I need to think of what I do have going for me: my wonderful friends and family, and my cats (and my love of reading ofc.)
Hating on her will do me no good. It will just burn me from the inside out.
No, I don't have to be happy for her (I'm always going to think of her as the girl that used to call me fat and mock my accent (I wasn't born in this town - shocker.))
Instead, I'll dismiss her entirely from my mind - her life has no effect on mine. Maybe it did, once, but not now - not for a long time.
I don't have to be happy for her success - but I don't have to care about it either.
Nerd Church is a weekly post where I ramble and rant about any issue that may be on my mind. Feel free to continue the discussion - whenever & wherever - but please link back here ;)
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