There's this myth that having a mental illness somehow makes you a better writer.
The tortured artist, able to bring forth the most beautiful art from their pain.
That myth is complete b*lls**t.
If anyone with a mental health problem is creating beautiful art or writing, it is in spite of not because of their illness.
For the love of whatever higher force you believe in, do not demean the efforts of artists and writers by saying that it's 'only' because they have mental health problems that they can do these things.
Because it's damned hard.
It can be hard enough to do the day-to-day things with mental health problems. Writing? Can be a constant f**king marathon.
Like a lot of people, I've always wanted to write.
There are challenges to writing, to wanting to be 'a writer' when you have these conditions.
1. Feeling you're not good enough.
- If people actually like what I write, what if I can't replicate that a second time?
- What if I have to go to events and lit festivals? That would mean travelling, meeting new people, speaking about my own writing, ending up in the right place at the right time... all things that give me massive anxiety issues.
- What if people don't think I'm worthy of the success?
...It isn't always what you think either - sometimes I can't read happy things because I think I'll never have that, and that has a bad effect.
4. My motivation goes to sh**.
I nearly gave up on this post numerous times. If you're reading it, it means I somehow managed to a) finish it, and b) convince myself to actually publish it.
I will start writing something and just... give up.
I won't be able to convince myself to finish it. Why would I? It's never going to be decent enough for people to read anyway... See? That's the sort of sh** my brain throws at me.
And sometimes I'm just too damned tired.
5. I can't concentrate.
Or I'll not be able to get out what I'm thinking onto the page or screen because it just... gets lost somewhere.
So yes, writing is something I've always wanted to do. No, I'm not going to give up... but my writing doesn't come from my illness.
My illness has tried to kill my writing - has tried to kill me - on more than one occasion. Please bear that in mind.
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