Sunday 17 December 2017

Nerd Church - How To Not Be a Jerk To Non-Drinking Guests

It's December - and nearly Christmas. 

drink glass pic

This is the time of year that's traditionally filled with party-goers, many of whom will be drinking. But not all.

As a member of the non-drinking group for the last several years, I can tell you that these reactions are fairly typical:

  • "But... WHY?!"
  • *Stares at me for at least a minute without blinking*
  • "I could NEVER do that!"
  • "Oh come on, have some fun!"
  • "Are you SURE?"
  • "Are you like *takes step backwards* religious or something?"

I don't drink because I'm not supposed to on my anti-depressants.

Oddly enough, I don't always want to go through the history of my mental health problems with a friend-of-a-friend that I just met. Particularly if they're already acting like a douche.

There are many reasons people might not want to drink alcohol, including, but not limited to:

  • Not wanting to mix their meds with alcohol (Hi!)
  • They don't drink for religious reasons - and no, this isn't weird.
  • They're a teetotal alcoholic.
  • They're driving home AND DRINK-DRIVING IS BAD!!!
  • They already feel a bit sick - do you really want to add alcohol to that mix?!
  • Everyone else is drunk - someone has to take care of your friends *sigh*
  • They don't feel safe in this bar/next to this creepy dude/with you (don't take it personally, they don't know you that well.)
  • They just don't feel like it - AND THAT'S PERFECTLY FINE.

So, what do you do with one of these weird non-drinking people like me?

Well, when you ask them if they want a drink, and they say no, this is what you do:

  • You say, 'OK, do you want a Diet Coke/water/lemonade/whatever instead?'
  • You don't ask them if they want alcohol again unless they indicate they do - asking someone who's already declined just makes it feel like you're pressuring them.
  • You don't ask why. If they wanna tell you, they will. That's THEIR business, not yours.
And that's it! It's not rocket science. IT'S JUST NOT ACTING LIKE A JERK. Simple.

Go forth and be polite and compassionate my nerdlets!!!!

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  1. This is all so important Cee! There’s this YouTuber I watch, and she doesn’t drink because of her anxiety and everytime she vlogs at a party it’s always the topic of conversation! It annoys me so I can’t imagine how she must feel!

    1. Thanks! :) And yeah - people need to be more polite to us non-drinkers!!!

  2. Just nodding along to EVERYTHING here! People always complain that I'm talking so much about not drinking but it's because THEY are asking or looking at me weirdly.

    1. Yes! It's like - it's not that difficult a concept, you don't have to look at me like I've blown your mind, I just don't want alcohol!!! *sighs* <3

  3. oh oh oh wait I NEED to add one that is much more common than people think and well can be from funny to downright embarrassing.. PEOPLE CAN BE PREGNANT and are not ready to make it public :)

    1. Ha, I hadn't thought of that! XD I think that just adds to the 'don't ask - if they want to tell you, they will!' Lol.

  4. Word! Thanks for flagging this -- a lot of people forget especially at this partyish time of year. It is very easy not to be a jerk about people's dietary and drinking preferences, but it seems some folks still refuse to manage it. :/


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