Sunday 21 April 2024

Nerd Church - My Heart Is Broken...


Warning: pet death

Title: My Heart Is Broken...

One of my cats died this week.

My beautiful boy had a seizure in my arms, and never fully came back. We had to take him down the vets to ease his journey.

And I am broken.

Something has been torn from my chest. It feels like part of my soul is missing.

I've lost cats before - it's always horrible, awful, painful, devastating; but this...

This is different. This is like a part of me is missing. Like it's been pulled out of me.

And yes, I know he was old - around 15 or 16 by the end.

I know he had dementia.

I know the vets hadn't expected him to last this last year at all.

I know we had reached the end - that though I had managed to give him a good quality of life up until now: happy and comfortable, and playing with a stick in the garden just one day before he died - that that seizure was just the final straw for his poor little body.

...But it doesn't make it easier.

All cats are special, but Jango was special.

From the first moment we saw each other, when he jumped straight into my arms, it was like finding a piece of me that I hadn't known was missing. 

It was like love-at-first-sight, running at each other through an imaginary field of flowers, fate.

If I lived in the 1600s, that boy would've got me put on trial as a witch, y'know?

If you've ever had that kind of bond with an animal, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

- Exactly how hard it is now that he's gone.

If not, you can't possibly imagine.

It hurts.

It really hurts.

He was my everything, my sunshine. Worth every moment. Goodbye sweet boy 💔


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  1. My partner is in the exact same boat right now, Cee! Oddly enough, Jango and Teemo (his cat) look very much alike! Maybe they're playing together across the rainbow bridge <3


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