Saturday 13 August 2016

The 'Lympic Dweam (A Guest Post By Xena-Cat*)

*as interpreted by the hooman who knows which buttons are atchally sposed to be hit on the keyboard.... Oh, and cuddles me and feeds me and stuff.

[Note from the mentioned hooman: thanks for that Xe-Xe.]

My dweam was to be a 'Lympic athlete. I never made any secret of my ambitions. All that twaining! All of that running up and down the stairs at 3 in the mornin'! Wasted!

I hurted my leg (or possibly my paw... I like to keep the hoomans guessing) about a week ago now. No-one is sadder than me 'bout dis. My little dweams of Rio are dashed! And there are sooooo many birds in Brazil! It's not fair!

I'm not even allowed outside into my own garden - because the vet is a big meanie who said I have to stay in until my sprain heals. My husband - Jango - he's allowed out. And he doesn't even know how to play propers without me!

Plus, I can't hit (or kiss) his butt if he's outside and I'm stuck in here. (My man has the bestest butt - it's one of the reasons I love him.) But we have got lots of practice at playing Romeo and Juliet through the window.

Jango's really handsome, he's the bestest Romeo there is.

Anyways, cos of I gots lots of time on my paws, I bin watchin' 'Lympics. I wish I was there, but I can at least critique the silly hoomans who think they're better than me (they're not; as well as an athlete, I'm also a ninja-cat! I cannot be seen in the dark! I has all the twaining!)

I think that the bestest events are the ones with balls. Balls are awesome, and you can watch them going back and fore. Balls are the bestest. Much better than the hoomans - and maybe even better than Jango... but not better than Jango's butt.

The athletics is good cos of people running - and I likes running. But they're not as fast as me!!!!!!!! [Hooman note: Xena likes to run around like an idiot, even though she's still limping (sigh)]

I like the gymnastics - but they don't have enough scratching posts or trees. I mean, silly people, how can you be proper gymnast without trees and garage roofs?

The rowing is good to watch because they have sticks! STICKS! STICKS THAT MOVEEEE!!!!!! I likes sticks >.< [Hooman note: Xena's favourite prey is in fact pieces of plants. To date she has brought home various sticks, and leaves, a berry, and a catkin. Jango is the one who brings dead things; and then she flirts with him and tells him how manly he is.]

Anyhows, all of the events would be bettererer with kitties. Especially me! I may have missed my chance this time, but I'll only be 7 in 2020. Bring it on Tokyo! Meow!

About Xena

Xena is an ex-Cats Protection tortoiseshell cat with a heart of gold and a mind full of mischief. She is the mother of one son, who found his new home before she found hers. She is a sweet little girl who loves to play and kiss her husband, Jango, the love of her life. She's one half of the best pair of cats a nerdgirl could hope for.

Her hobbies include bringing in pieces of trees, 'twaining for the 'Lympics' and blaming Jango when she doesn't get her way.

This is the only time she's ever written a blogpost. The jury is out on whether she'll be allowed to do so again.


  1. This was so CUTE!! 😂 Xena types amazing for not having thumbs!

    1. Hehe, the hooman might've helped ;) Glad you liked it - I'll let her know! >.<


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