Sunday 19 November 2017

Nerd Church - Hate Pretending to be Love is Still Hate

(Warning: this post contains discussions of homophobia (inc. general queerphobia) and transphobia, in a religious context (gets a little controversial))


If you know who I'm talking about in this post, please leave it be. Myself and this person parted somewhat civilly and I don't have the energy to stir it up again.

Just to be clear: I don't mean to be offensive to Christianity in this post, I don't consider people like this to be genuine Christians.

There are people who hide behind the shield of Christianity in order to spread hatred and bigotry. Those people are not Christian.

rainbow lipstick pic

This week, I cut ties to someone I thought was pretty cool, because they turned out not to be.

They thought it was OK to support the views of a 'Christian' blogger who wrote an open letter to the LGBTQ+ community.

This letter claimed to be loving. It claimed to be tolerant. Instead, it spread hate.

Let me explain something to you - if you spread hate while calling it love, it's still hate.

A blade is still a blade when you stick it in my back, whether you call it a kiss or not.

Comparing LGBTQ+ people to murderers and rapists is still hate, whether or not you claim to be tolerant of us.

Saying we should repent for our sin - the sin of being ourselves and loving whoever we love - is hatred.

It's like you can't even go on the radio anymore and condemn a whole subset of people to Hell without getting some blowback gif
via Giphy

I don't aim to offend any Christians here.

I find that so many people call themselves Christian who clearly don't understand what that means.

Let me be plain though: if your religion thinks that acts of love between consenting adults, or living your true gender identity, is a sin, then I want no part of it.

If there is a God who honestly sees murderers and queer people as being equal in 'evil,' then that God does not deserve any worship or praise.

Any God worth devotion would not see love, sexuality, or gender identity, as a sin.

I'm sorry if you disagree with that - but honestly, if you've been on this blog before, then that won't surprise you.

(And if you do disagree, I'm sure you can find the exit. Thanks for stopping by.)

If a God, or Gods, are worthy of veneration, why would they hate love? I don't understand.

But maybe that's a good thing... I don't think I want to understand.

I don't understand why people think being queer means I've done something wrong.

I've done nothing wrong. I'm going to say that louder for the people in the back: I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG.

I'm not going to 'repent' for being who I am - since I came out last year, it's been like setting myself free. No-one is going to make me feel bad about that. NO-ONE.

no homophobia is allowed on this blog rainbow flag gif

Saying that you love us, while claiming that fundamental parts of us are wrong and evil, is still hate.

I know what hate looks like. Don't try to make yourself out to be somehow pure or on the moral high-ground. Don't claim to be loving while stabbing me in the back.

Think what you want - no-one's forcing you, we're not in your head - but stop being such sanctimonious hypocrites.

Sorry if that's strong, I honestly don't like offending anyone, but... #DealWithIt.

This is my line in the sand. If you think I'm going to Hell then don't try to save me - if Heaven is full of people like you then I don't want to go there.

I wish no-one any harm. And I'm going to continue to love with my whole heart - please try to do the same.

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Previous Nerd Church posts:

Accidental Hipster Mum


  1. I agree with everything you said here. This is partly why I have strayed away from the Catholic Church in a sense. It’s because they just have so much hate in this religion and not enough is done about it.

    1. Sorry to hear you're having issues with your church... *awkwardly tries to figure out what to say in this situation...* whatever's best for you is what's best for you.

      Again, I think any God worth worshipping is not one who hates. But I get that a lot of people would find that statement highly offensive - which is why I was very hesitant to write this post...

      But then, I thought, this blog has always been open and totally honest.

      And this upset me (I don't know whether you're aware of the conversation I had with this person or not, again, I don't want to start anything,) because this person was defending the 'Christian' blogger as somehow being loving, and implying I was somehow unreasonable.

      I ended up checking with The Bestie (who's Christian but not a jerk,) whether I'd misinterpreted something (anxiety can make you think that a lot, and I was panicking that I'd acted like a jerk by accident,) but apparently I was right, and it *was* just that awful. *Sighs*

  2. Ah, jeez. You write tough things, and it is hard to not just jump through the screen and give you a hug (well, I'd ask for permission first). I think sexuality from a religious lens has been kind of muddied up by homophobia and queerphobia in general. Like, in Islam, there's no exact discussion on it, so to me, I always take it as a non-issue. Instead, I use the rest of the faith to dictate how to treat people: with kindness, love, and appreciation. Like, religion is meant to be a series of guidelines to how a person carries themselves. If you're assuming that God told you to mistreat a person, perhaps you should reread the whole holy text you have. Relearn the value system. No religion preaches hate, ever.

    1. YES! Dina you rock so much! XD (And of course you can hug me - I'm a very huggy person!)

      I get that there are things in Christianity/Judaism which are against queerness - but then, people no longer follow the things about not wearing more than a certain number of types of cloth, or women covering their hair (yes, the Bible specifically says this.) I feel like, if you ignore the small stuff but choose to follow the hatred, then you're not being Christian/Jewish/whatever.

      Hate is a choice. Who you are is not.

  3. Wow great post. As usual you write from your heart and I applaud you. (and give you a hug) :)
    Sorry, well not so sorry really, and actually good riddance to your friend who was a wolf in sheep clothing. I don't like haters who pretend to be lovers. You are better off without them.

    1. Thanks so much!

      And yeah... it surprises me sometimes what people think is ok. Maybe it shouldn't, I've heard enough of it, but *shrugs* there you go.

  4. Hugs and kisses my lovely!! I absolutely agree with everything you say in this post! You did a good job by staying away from such a person <3 No religion preaches hate. Hate is something that comes from people and they preach it by hiding behind religion.

    Also sorry about having been MIA for a while! College has been killing me!! :(


    1. Thank you!

      I don't want to go too much into it b/c I think you might know them and I don't want to be *that person,* y'know? But thank you for your support sweetheart, it's v much appreciated :)

      And no problem! Everyone gets busy sometimes. Take care of yourself, m'k?

  5. oh I'll have to restrain myself not to go on forever about organized religions. I was raised catholic and many of its precepts and deeply ingrained in my brain AND I HATE THAT. I was so disappointed when I grew up and realized what the catholic church as most organized religions is about: Power. "religion is the opiate of the masses" is one of the most authentic pieces of truth I have encountered in my life. All that spread of hate has to do with controlling and power. Everyone has to be the same [all straight] and afraid to be different to be easily controlled. and yes there is a HUGE component of hypocrisy there. The most judgmental, snob, less compassionate, and prejudiced people I have the misfortune to come across have been very religious. I'm glad this person isn't in your life anymore. you are way to precious. Love and acceptance is the best religion of all. And you are loved and accepted and if you ask me everyone else can go to hell. Hugs and kisses.

    1. Have I mentioned that I love you? ;) XD

      Thanks for your comment Dragonfly, it really made me smile XD

      And yeah... religion can be a good thing, but it's also caused a lot of hurt over the centuries... *sigh*

      I wasn't raised in any particular religion - more of a sort of quasi-Christian, semi-Celtic-pagan, part-random-hippy-sh**, part-scientific-proof, mix. (Honestly, I love my parents, but they're def. weird.)

    2. yup I forgot to say religion can give people a moral compass. That's good. haha I'm so jealous of you "semi-Celtic-pagan, part-random-hippy-sh**"upbringing. I would have loved that! AND THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME! I really really really love you too! xoxoxoxo

    3. Trust me, the novelty wears off after a while!

      Love you too!!!!! XD

  6. Hate pretending to be love is even worse because it's manipulative and cowardly. And the way I see it, it's not religion that's the problem, it's what you said, people hiding behind religion just so they can excuse their hatefulness.

  7. I see this all the time on Twitter! It's really weird to put awful beliefs under the heading 'religion' and pretend you speak with love!
    Thank you for linking up to #RVHT, I hope you can join again!

    1. Yeah - people are *sighs*

      Oh well - people can be awesome too!

      Thanks :)


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