Whether you're director James Gunn, YouTuber Jeffree Star, politician Boris Johnson, or the Archdruid of the Gorsedd*, you've made mistakes in your past (or present.)
Lord knows I've made plenty of mistakes in my life. And I'm guessing you have too, dearest nerdlets.
We're human, after all.
*What, you guys don't have an Archdruid?!?! Welp, Welsh people do. 😅
But how do we decide when someone is worthy of our forgiveness?
How do we decide who is forgiven and who isn't? Do we have double-standards?
Before we go on, yes, this is definitely going to be one of those posts where I ask more questions than I give answers.
Because honestly? I don't have a lot of the answers to these questions.
Some of them may even be unanswerable, as far as I know.
Humans being the messy, wonderful, terrible, creatures that we are, things are rarely as simple as we'd like them to be.
And the very private decision to forgive or not to forgive a public figure is something that's being pulled into the public eye more and more, imho - probably because of the publicness of said public figure.
And it is personal, isn't it? The decision to forgive someone?
It's easier for me to forgive people who've not harmed me or my friends and family than it is to forgive those whose words affect me directly.
That's not a malicious thing - that's just the self-interest of human beings. We all do it to some extent, no matter how much we may struggle to try and be fair and just with our assessments.
But there are other factors, aren't there?
Like, what was their intent when they said/did the thing?
How much time has elapsed? Does it matter how much time has elapsed, or is it so bad that distance doesn't make a difference?
Have they apologised? How sincere was the apology? Have they acted differently since? Have they repeated the same mistakes?
Did they refuse to apologise? Did they claim there was nothing wrong with what they said/did? Did they get defensive instead of listening to the people they'd hurt?
But if someone ticks all of those boxes, do you have to forgive them?
If you don't have to, then should you? Are you being petty if you don't? Or does it just reflect the hurt you've gone through?
I feel like we all want to do the 'right' thing - but don't necessarily know what that is.
Because there is no 'right' that's right for everyone - everyone is coming from a different place, and is in different circumstances.
Every situation has its own set of challenges, nuances, context, and individuals.
So there doesn't seem to be a universal set of rules for forgiveness.
Unfortunately, I guess we all just have to find our own way through each individual situation, and hopefully be as understanding as we can to each other along the way.
That means listening to those who have been hurt, as well as those doing the hurting. It means thinking things through.
It means being open and/or willing to change our minds according to new information.
It means muddling our way through, the best we can, and knowing that just trying to do that makes us all awesome. Love ya, dearest nerdlets. 💖
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