Sunday 3 May 2020

Nerd Church - I'm SO Tired

(Warning: this post references Coronavirus/Covid 19 and Lockdown, and discusses mental health problems and Anxiety throughout.)

I'm so tired.

Like, SO tired.

Part of that is probably due to an existential tiredness related to the Lockdown and wanting things to go back to 'normal' - whatever normal is.

(Stay Home though, dearest nerdlets - STAY HOME PLEASE! It's so important!)

'I'm SO Tired' in a shadow-block font over a bed and bedside table

A lot of it, though, is the physical side of my mental health problems.

Disclaimer: I'm not a medical and/or mental health professional, I'm just someone with personal experience of Depression and Anxiety, and a dash of common sense.

If you've visited this blog before (love you!) you may have read one, or many, posts which talk about my Depression and Anxiety.

Depression makes you tired.

Anxiety is exhausting.

Both of them disrupt your sleep - which makes your mental health worse, which in turn disrupts your sleep.

I've been running on a serious level of Anxiety for weeks now - as a lot of us with mental health problems have, I'm sure.

(Not that people without mental health problems can't be anxious or worried - of course they can, they're just not Anxious with a capital 'A'.)

Anxiety has a tendency of flooding you with adrenaline and cortisol. 

This gives you a lot of fight-or-flight type nervous energy, and also disrupts your sleep.

Anxiety has all sorts of physical effects - and when your body can't cover the physicality with adrenaline and cortisol any more, you are goddamned exhausted.

Why am I telling you all this?

Because so few people really know about the physical affects of mental health problems - or even a prolonged period of stress.

(...Which negatively affects your mental health - we all have mental health, just as we all have physical health.)

It's OK to struggle.

And if you're exhausted right now - whether due to a mental health problem, or another disability or illness, or just the state of the world right now - I want you to know that yeah, it sucks. 

But it's not your fault, ok? IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

And one of the best things you can do is give yourself some slack on this.

If you stress out about how tired you are, or whether or not you can sleep, or whether you 'should' be this exhausted, it'll just make things worse.

I've played this roundabout game more than once - the only way to even start to break the spiral is to take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself.

Stay Home, Stay Safe, and take care dearest nerdlets! 💖

P.S. I really hope this post made sense, because I nearly fell asleep mid-sentence more than once!

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  1. Everything you said here is just too real. Ugh, I feel this on every level. We talked a while ago about me not being able to sleep. I have gotten so much better, but I have lost the ability to sleep in! Meaning every morning I wake up super early, so I have to make sure I go to bed super early as well in order to get a full night of sleep in. And, falling asleep and staying asleep is always a stressful affair. I hope we both can find some rest in all of this! Hugs <3

    1. Glad that things have gotten better with falling asleep - hope you can sleep in again soon! I have to drag myself up in the morning, tbh. I keep falling back to sleep - argh!

      *Hugs* <3

  2. I slept till noon today lol. Thankfully I'm working from home and could make my own hours. It has been really tough to keep a normal sleep schedule.

    1. I work from home anyway (entrepreneur/multiple-side-hustle-chick here!) but I have a massive tendency to over-work, especially when I'm stressed, as if if I just work hard enough, everything will be magically OK - which is something I really have to watch, cos I end up just tiring myself more!

      I hope you're coping with the sleep scheduling :) And if you have the odd lie-in, make sure you enjoy it! XD <3

  3. I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time, hon! I have been absolutely flooded with stress this week, in part due to work stuff, but in part just like, the general effects of COVID stress. Last night I dreamed that I discovered dozens of new rooms in my house that just needed clearing out, but they were full of wild animals that I had to talk out of eating me up. We had sort of reached an uneasy truce when I woke up, but honestly the rhinoceros was still probably going to kill me. I WONDER WHAT IT COULD MEAN. :P

    1. OK, your dreams are amazing though, fair play! My stress-dreams usually involve spiders - although I haven't had one yet with Covid (fingers crossed!!!) - not that I can remember anyway! But then, I sometimes dream in French... and my French pretty much only extends to 'Parlaiz vous Francais?' and 'Je m'appelle Cee' - my spelling and grammar is probably terrible, but you get my point! XD

  4. You are SO RIGHT, thank you for saying everything so beautifully. This is a message that a lot of people need to hear now - I know I had some issues getting enough sleep in the first few weeks. I felt this constant need to be productive, started bookstagram and would stay up till 3am to post, interact and run my hobby like it was a job. I've gotten a bit better now, and I know I would have loved someone to tell me this.
    I hope you're doing well! Please reach out if you ever need <3

    1. I do that - over-work as if it'll somehow fix everything. It doesn't, it just tires you out more. Productivity can be good for distraction, but there's a point where it becomes unhealthy, y'know?

      I wish I'd written this post a few weeks ago! *hugs*

      Same to you - my Twitter DMs are open, but I might be a little slow getting back to you, cos I only check it like once a day. Still, you're welcome to message me whenever! <3


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