Sunday 16 June 2024

Nerd Church - Migraine Trips


Title: Migraine Trips. Background: psychedelic patterning

You wake up and go downstairs, pausing mid-way down.

The lines of each individual stair seem to waver for a moment.

The stairs themselves seem vaguely Burtonesque - all slanted lines and moving pieces.

Your head hurts and you close your eyes.

You take a deep breath, gripping the bannister tightly, and the stairs snap back to taut and firm. 

You step a careful step, holding tightly, holding tightly, and continue on your journey despite the sick nausea in your throat and the hot poker-pain behind your eyes.

Downstairs now, and the sunlight is too bright but that's OK. It's summer, right? 

It's fine. 

You squint tired eyes and keep moving.

Breakfast bowl on counter. Cereal box in hand. 

Ignore the sun-spots blotting out the brand name - the colour of the box means you grabbed the right one, so you pour.

Back to the living room, pause when the kitchen floor turns tiles to earthquaked stepping-stones, patterns providing seismic activity.

The floor is flat. The floor is flat. The floor is flat.

...It would probably be easier to convince yourself if the floor didn't need re-skimming, but you push that to the back of your mind. It's flat enough.

It's not the mole-hill ripples you're seeing right now.

You pause for a moment when you get back to the living-room, because... something is not right. 

With the world itself.

The world is... wrong.

The screen of your vision has a line of pixels pushed out, like interference on a digital TV channel; out of line and then back again.

After the world has returned to normal, every now and then, a few pixels... just... shift. Lines of the world glitch-pixeling in the real.

...Like you can see through the Matrix of your life.

And your head really, really, hurts, as you squint against the brightness of the day.

dividing line

I've had a couple of migraine attacks recently, and it struck me that people don't understand just how weird it can be to have one.

Migraine is a neurological headache, by the way - your brain literally hurts, and also throws a bunch of other weird sh** at you.

Disclaimer time: I am not a medical or neurological professional. I am a chick with a blog. Always consult your doctor if you think something's wrong.

All of the visual disturbances - known as auras - found in this post are 100 per cent things that I've experienced. 

This doesn't cover every single type of aura I've had, but most of them.

Yes, the pixelation is a thing that happens. It's one of the more unnerving ones.

Auras don't usually switch types quite as quickly as I've written here - in my experience, anyway. 

I get one type, or maybe two types interchanging - like sunspots and floor movements, for example - for a length of time that can last anywhere from a few seconds to a few hours, and then they'll go away entirely. 

They may or may not be replaced with something else later on, depending on the length of the attack and whether the attack triggers another attack (my attacks trigger more - so fun.)

So, yeah. Migraines aren't 'just a headache,' actually.

Any of my fellow migraineurs out there?

Any possible insights into Matrix-defying auras? (Lol.)

Talk to me! 😎💬

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  1. My sister suffers from migraines! She is actually getting an mri on Thursday to rule out some issues. She definitely knows how to feel!

    1. Fingers crossed her scan came out OK! It really sucks, tbh.


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