Sunday, 5 April 2026

Nerd Church - The Neon Tragedy of Certain Dark Things (...and Romeo and Juliet)

 

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Don't deceive yourself...this is not a love story. 
- Certain Dark Things, Silvia Moreno-Garcia

 


He jests at scars that never felt a wound 
- Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare



 

Title: The Neon Tragedy of Certain Dark Things (...and Romeo and Juliet). There's swirling black smoke in the background, and a neon green effect on the main title - it's super artsy imho






Certain Dark Things is a vampire novel.

…It’s also entirely unique.

Silvia Moreno-Garcia, the author, describes the book as 'neon noir' - which is as good a label as any for this inventive, interesting, and compelling, mash-up of styles and genres.



Certain Dark Things is also a tragedy.

...And it kept reminding me of Romeo and Juliet.

It especially kept reminding me of the version of Romeo + Juliet - the 1996 adaptation from Baz Luhrmann, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes.

That version had all the flash, crash, and neon-bash that would fit Certain Dark Things perfectly - like, I would love a version of this book directed by Baz Luhrmann!



Claire Danes wearing angel costume-wings in Romeo + Juliet
Via Giphy



Romeo and Juliet is not a love story. It's a 3 day relationship between a 13-year-old and a 17-year-old that caused 6 deaths. 

- Internet meme 



Romeo and Juliet is an often-misunderstood play.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say that culture as a whole has, mostly, misunderstood Romeo and Juliet.

It’s not a romance. It has some romance in it, but it is not, primarily, a love story.

No, Romeo and Juliet is, through and through, a tragedy.

You only have to look at the death toll to prove it.



Beyond that, Romeo and Juliet is a story about the perpetuation of violence - about two privileged families who can only communicate with each other in the language of blood and hate and gang warfare.

And it's into this backdrop, as the local Prince threatens both factions in an effort to stop the violence that keeps spilling out onto the city streets, that Romeo sneaks into the wrong party, and falls head-over-heels for Juliet.

And because their fathers - both heads of the families - are too busy hating on each other to pay attention to their stupid-a** kids, their stupid-a** kids end up getting married, and then end up dead. (My Shakespearean plot summaries are on-point, no? 😅)



And so, to Certain Dark Things once again:



Certain Dark Things book cover
Image Source



Atl, a casually Queer character, is one of the Tlāhuihpochtli - an Aztec form of vampire. She’s also the daughter of a narco - a cartel leader.


Fleeing the violence of a drug war that she’s a little bit responsible for, and with her entire family destroyed, she makes her way to Mexico City - a vampire-free zone.

Mexico City does not allow the presence of any of species of vampire within city walls. Simply put: if Atl is caught there, she’s in trouble.

There, lost, and alone, and completely unable to function without the luxuries she’s used to, she meets street-kid Domingo - who is clearly smitten from the start.



But the son of a rival cartel - Nick Godoy, a vampire from the necros species - has followed her to Mexico City. 

And he is, quite simply, a piece of sh**.

Like - there are no redeeming features to Nick Godoy; he’s just an a**hole. Like what’s-his-face in Romeo and Juliet… *does some Googling* …Tybalt. Total a**hole.

So anyway, on top of the Godoy cartel being after Atl, there’s Deep Crimson - a slightly odd, Mexico-City-based human gang, with a penchant for red clothing and a desire to keep all vamps off their turf; they’ve managed to carve out a human-gang haven and they want to keep it that way.

Plus there’s a local cop, experienced with vampire-killing from her time in Zacatecas, and sick of the corruption and general incompetence on the force in this fictional version of Mexico City.



…Put all that together, and you have the recipe for a whole lot of blood, and a whole lot of violence.

Meanwhile Domingo is just totally, entirely, head-over-heels for his new dangerous acquaintance - so much so that he quickly agrees to become her ‘Renfield,’ which is slang for a vampire’s human assistant.

(...After the character, Renfield, from Dracula, who was bumped up more firmly to ‘dude who works for Dracula’ in the legendary 1930, Bela Lugosi, film version.

Incidentally, there’s an awesome film called Renfield about said character starring Nicholas Cage, Nicholas Hoult and Awkwafina. So long as you can get past the splatterpunk-style gore, it’s well worth the watch.)



Atl, despite her better judgment, finds herself being drawn to Domingo too.

Is she just lonely? Is she truly attracted to him? Is he just a surprising little cinnamon-roll that you can’t help liking? (Hint: it’s the last one.)

Whatever the case, she best not let herself get too close - there are some species of vampire who combine sexy-times with eating, like the necros, but Atl’s kind aren’t like that. 

Sleeping with a human is a cross-species taboo. They are not supposed to be together. Not like that.



So, Atl and Domingo are not supposed to be together romantically. It’s a bad idea. (And does Atl even want that?)

Still, they only have each other. And a whole city of enemies.

Certain Dark Things is most definitely NOT a romance. 

It has some romance in it, but it is not, primarily, a love story.



It’s a story about crime, and rival cartels, and how things don’t always end the way you want them to.

About how glamour can hide danger underneath, and how quickly life can change.

It's a story about violence perpetuating violence, against the backdrop of a neo-noir-ish Mexico City.

It's a neon tragedy. 

...And, of course, it’s a story about vampires.




Sacrifice. The face of all earthly things at one point is sacrifice. She’d never known what that really meant, parroting the words of others, and now she understood.
- Certain Dark Things, Silvia Moreno-Garcia
 

 

These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume.
 
- Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare









The next Nerd Church will be posted on 3rd May 2026 - hope to see you there!







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