The Writer Diaries: Micropoetry - March 2016

So, I came across micropoetry when faffing around on Twitter... and me being me, I kind of dove right in there.

Of course, then I figured out that since I tend to write directly into the tweet box (I know that's not normally how it's done but meh, that's the way I roll sometimes,) I was seriously in danger of losing the random bits and pieces of micropoetry I throw onto Twitter in the general clutter of my timeline/profile page/whatever it is you call it on Twitter.

Just to keep something of a record of my random writings then, I figured it'd be a good idea to collate them once a month into a Micropoetry Wrap-up type-thingummy.

Here's what I wrote in March (and one day in February,) -



February 29th

I think my heart is breaking darling
but I don't know why
every time I refresh the page the words remain


March 3rd

#MotherEarthsLastWords
Were ones of regret.
She gave her children everything
And they never loved her.
She still loves them.

March 4th

The Truth? The Truth is
That you never knew.
Every breath in my lungs?
It was for you.


March 8th

We still face
Obvious & subtle discrimination
Major & minor inequalities
Every day,
Needing to scream - this is 2016!

March 11th

do this
do that
end up being judged
whatever you do
just the way things go


March 12th

tomorrow I will see you
I wonder if you'll recognise
the one you left behind to die
guess I'm stronger than you thought


March 13th

do you feel sometimes
like people need to learn
that there are other people in this world too?


March 17th

Hello, my dear Shadow Man!
Yes, I love you still -
Though I can't see my Shadow Man,
I know he's with me still.

March 18th

I asked for your #heart,
You told me no.
Don't go, dear Shadow Man,
Please don't go.

March 28th

I throw words out into the dark
Like tiny fireflies
Hoping to spread light

March 29th

I love you, dear stranger,
Just for being you.
Wherever you may be,
You may count on the love
Of a stranger like me



Like This Post? Try These:

• The Writer Diaries (or, I Need to Be Brave)
• The Writer Diaries - Introducing Cracked Glass Slipper Posts: Coming Soon

Cracked Glass Slipper: Cinderella Part 1

Already read Part 1? Check out Part 2 here

This could go great, this could go terribly... but for better or worse, this is the first part of my 'Cracked Glass Slipper' posts.

So, here it is, part 1 of Cinderella. I hope I manage to make you laugh (or at least chuckle, please?)

Cinderella, Part 1

"Whoah, whoah, whoah! You have got to be kidding me."

The old woman didn't answer. Just smiled genially... like she was Julie Andrews or something. Sin hoped that she wouldn't start singing – that was the last thing she needed.

"Seriously – who spiked my drink?" Sin's head was spinning; this was not normal.

Because that sports car? Right next to where they stood on the kerb? In front of her modest front door? - It hadn't been there a minute ago. It had been a pumpkin – an honest-to-God, ever-loving, pumpkin!

Who the hell makes luxury vehicles out of vegetables?!

"Am I having a breakdown? Or a stroke? A psychotic episode? Is that what this is?"

The old lady shrugged, "Possibly. I'm not judging. You taking the car or not?"

"Well...no!"

The woman looked genuinely confused, "No?"

"Ten minutes ago that thing was a prototype Jack-o-Lantern; I doubt it's gonna be up to safety regs. Or, you know, the laws of physics... and reality, and stuff."

"Oh," she looked kind of pensive, "no-one's ever made that point before."

"Well, what do people normally do? Just take the car?!?" Sin's face twisted in disbelief.

"Well... yes. Of course in the old days it was a carriage, but, yes – they always take the car," if anything, the old lady was starting to look a little offended.

Sin didn't know how to respond. This whole thing was just... there weren't words. Not repeatable ones anyway.

"Look, dear," the woman said, and the innocent-little-old-lady act was getting old fast, as far as Sin was concerned, "you have to get to that boy's house! And the best way to do that is to take this car – after we've got you some appropriate clothing, of course."

"And why do I have to go to Tom's house? And how do you even know about Tom?" Sin crossed her arms, tapping her foot impatiently: she wanted answers – now.

***

Ah, the day had started so well. True, she'd found Effie drooling on the sofa, again. And Abbie had taken her car without permission, again. But, you know, that was normal. Expected, even.

Abbie was always taking her car. Effie was always crashing on the sofa after one too many vodka shots. Just the hazards of sharing a flat with your step-sisters. Simple as. Especially with Effie still in uni... student life and all that.

And of course she loved them... they just drove her completely around the bend. They wouldn't bug her so much if she didn't love them, after all. That's just the way it goes with family sometimes.

True, she'd had to clean up the cereal massacre someone (Abbie? Probably Abbie.) had left in the kitchen. Then she'd had to make way for Effie's hungover sprint to the bathroom and ask the usual 'Are you ok?' style questions while pretending that she couldn't hear the icky noises her sis was making (yuck, yuck, double-yuck!) But hell, it was Saturday, and Sin honestly didn't care about anything beyond lazing around in her PJ's. Nope, no dark clouds – not today!

***

"It's how it's supposed to go!" man, little-old-lady was pissed; and she still hadn't answered Sin's questions.

Sin wasn't really a 'supposed' to kind of girl. Call it a flaw. Call it a strength. She didn't really care.

"Bite me," she snapped, and turned to go back into the flat; she was done with this.

The old chick grabbed her arm. Hard. Sheesh, was grandma on 'roids?

Sin turned back to glare at her... and stopped. Her heart fluttered. Oh man, she must've drunk something really bad. Because no way was this real.

The old woman was... crackling. No other word sprang to mind (to be fair, her mind was a bit occupied right now.) The old lady's white hair stood on end, flying out behind her. Her eyes were angry. Sparks flew around her – actual, honest-to-God, sparks – green and blue and purple.

"Holy crap!" Ok, not the most eloquent thing Sin could've said – but give her a break, it was kind of a unique situation.

"Sorry girl," the old woman snarled, "we're on a deadline... Bloody millenials"

***

When the first text had come through, Sin had been happily tucking into toast on the sofa. She didn't answer. The second text came ten minutes later. She didn't answer that one either. Nor did she answer the phonecall that came twenty minutes after that.

She was completely sure that her care-free, dark-cloud-less-Saturday, did not involve a conversation with Tom.

Nope. Not going there. Nope. Not going to answer the phone Tom, no matter how many times you call.

She answered the fifth time he called. The conversation went pretty much as she expected – much swearing (her,) some begging (him,) and an invitation to the birthday bash he was having tonight. She told him she'd rather stick her head in a blender. He asked her to give it a shot. She said she'd think about it. They hung up.

Pretty much how all their conversations seemed to go lately.

***

"Am I in a dress?"

"Well, how else would you go to the party?"

"I look like a six-year-old's princess fantasy threw up on me."

The old woman shook her head, "Some people are just impossible to please."

What do you think? (Please couch criticism in politeness and courtesy - I bruise easily.)

Read on! See Part 2 here >

The Writer Diaries - Introducing Cracked Glass Slipper Posts: Coming Soon

Since I'm aiming to write this year - and write a lot - I figure it's OK to put some of my wackier ideas down on paper (or... y'know, screen,) for all to (hopefully) laugh at.

So I came up with the idea of 'Cracked Glass Slipper' posts.

Let me explain:

I've been toying for a while with the idea of retelling fairy tales in my own way - basically, as if I'm writing crack fanfiction. Only, this will be suitable for under 18s, unlike most crack fiction.

I'm under no illusions - this may go horrifically wrong pretty damn quickly. In which case I'll abandon it and pretend that it never happened *nods, smiles, laughs nervously.*

At the moment, what I have is random at best - it's demented, to be honest. I worry about myself sometimes.

And I have no idea whether it's any good - but then, I suppose I'll never know unless I share it with you all.

I apologise in advance if I scar you all for life. (It's a possibility at this point.)

Each story will be about made up of multiple parts (I think - not an awful lot of organisation happens in my head, so I'm not all that sure yet.) So each one will be serialised on Diary of a Reading Addict over several weeks/months (dependant on how long they are, and how quickly I write them.)

Hopefully this will be fun - and hopefully you'll all come along for the ride.

I'll be starting with Cinderella soon...

Cinderella, Part 1 >>>

 

Like This Post? Try These:

• The Writer Diaries (or, 2016, I'm Gonna Getcha)
• The Writer Diaries (or, I Need to Be Brave)

The Writer Diaries (or A Heaping Pile of Brain Stew)

Our brains are hyper-active filing machines - they absorb, mix, and smoosh together all of the things that we see, hear, experience, etc., throughout the day, and then spit out the surviving pieces in a compendium of Brain Stew.

What I'm saying is that we take outside influences and turn them into something new. It's the creative process.

That's not to say that we're being unoriginal when we write or draw something that is influenced by something else - just that we gain inspiration from a lot of very random places.

Our brains are constantly weaving the stuff they absorb into something else - which is truly wonderful, when you think about it.

 

So, how about crediting or acknowledging your inspirations?

This is one I've been thinking about a lot - if my brain is the one cooking the stew, how much credit do I need to give to the ingredients, or to the recipe book?

If I write something that is a bizarre combination of everything I read, do I have to list anything that I could possibly have been influenced by?

Well, I think we should treat the ingredients and the recipe book separately. Let me explain:

The Ingredients

The things that make up only a part of the over-all dish - so, if you were writing dystopia, your ingredients might be The Hunger Games, 1984, and a dash of Divergent, for example.

The end result is that your stew will have parts of the ingredients in it, but will taste different to the individual ingredients.

In this case, you really only need to credit if there's a particular ingredient you feel was worthy of praise - something special that you feel like people will be interested to know is in there. Just like if you wanted to point out you've been cooking with organic or local produce, for example.

The Recipe Book

If you're following a particular recipe, then you need to credit it -

If you've quoted someone else's work verbatim (word for word,) used someone else's work to derive a format (for example, blog memes and tags,) or taken pieces of someone else's work and altered it only slightly, you need to credit it.

There are a few instances where this isn't the case: where you're making a joke about volunteering as tribute, for example, you're making a cultural reference rather than quoting.

When you use copyright-free images (as I do,) where the creator does not require attribution - then you don't need to credit. That doesn't mean you can claim that image as your own. Because it's not.

The Brain Stew

Basically - the amount you credit your influences is up to you.

Largely, what you should do depends on how large an influence the source has had on you -

If you write a dystopian about a girl named Kats who uses a bow and arrow and fights in The Starving Competition - then it might be a good idea to credit The Hunger Games. A lot. Like really suck up with your acknowledgement. And you still might get your butt sued.

If you write a dystopian about a girl named Corinne who uses a bow and arrow, but only against clockwork soldiers who attack on every full moon (no idea where that came from by the way,) then there's no need to credit The Hunger Games, unless you really want to. You may have been influenced by it, but it's one of many ingredients, not the whole recipe.

Hope that's given you all some food for thought. Do you agree? Or do you think that you should always list all of your influences - regardless of how much or little effect they have on your work?


Like This Post? Try These:

• The Writer Diaries (or, 2016, I'm Gonna Getcha)
• The Writer Diaries (or How to Destroy a Blank Page)
• The Writer Diaries (or, I Need to Be Brave)

The Writer Diaries (or, I Need to Be Brave)

At some point, I'm going to have show people the cr*p I write.

I'm not sure why this is such a mental stumbling block to me - I've got no issues with showing people my artwork or craft projects (in fact I tend to stick it in their faces and demand praise like a three year old.) I drew my avatar/profile pic (you know, the bird? It's an Adaryn Rhiannon, and I hand-drew it - check me out!)

So why is showing my writing off such an issue?

It might be because this is so much a part of me, that I'm worried that someone will be overly-critical and therefore will be judging not just the writing, but me. (Some deep sh*t going on there.)

Certainly, blogging is helping with that.

True, I use a username instead of my real name (but that's because my real name is relatively distinctive and I don't want strangers stalking me, if that's ok with you,) and I use a bird as an avatar (but really, you don't want my face on everything - I look about 12, no-one would take me seriously.)

So, what can I do about the whole 'need-to-show-my-writing' deal-y?

Well, I'll tell you dearest reader, I'm going to share some (cue gasps, ladies in corsets fainting, me finding a portal back from the nineteenth century.)

So here is a poem I wrote a little while ago:

 

Tie my wrists,

My fingers,

My neck.

 

Strap on my armour

Of gold and chain,

Of resin and ribbon.

 

Affix medals

To my breast.

 

Cinch in my waist,

With a leather restraint,

Camouflage my scent,

Tug and leash my hair,

Binding it like rope.

 

I wrap myself

In the ritual;

Prepare to go to war.

 

Ok, so I don't have a title. I can't decide if it's pretentious or overly-simplistic. I'm not happy with the last verse at all.

 

But there you have it. Let me know if you like it (or don't - be gentle!) and (hopefully) I'll find the courage to share some more soon.

 

 

Like This Post? Try These:

• The Writer Diaries (or, 2016, I'm Gonna Getcha)
• The Writer Diaries (or How to Destroy a Blank Page)



The Writer Diaries (or, 2016, I'm Gonna Getcha)

As I've mentioned on probably more than one occasion, I love both reading and writing.

Of course, I consider this blog writing - I'm here putting the words from my head into type, aren't I? But I'm also keen to up the amount of writing of various other sorts that I do.

I've decided that I'm going to make myself write more in 2016. Not in a loads-of-pressure, have-to-do-this-or-else kind of way: because that sucks. No, this is in a 'wow, this is fun! And I can do this, and then that, and then...' kind of way.

So yeah, I'm gonna have fun, I'm gonna write stuff, and lord knows what I'll do with said stuff once I've written it, but that's a problem for the future (I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.)

Expect more 'Writer Diaries' posts in the next few months!



Like this post? Try these:

• The Writer Diaries (or How to Destroy a Blank Page)
• The Writer Diaries (Or What I Learned From NaBloPoMo November 2015)
• The Writer Diaries (Or, I Blog From the Heart, How 'Bout You?)

The Writer Diaries (or, Blogging is a Fickle Mistress)

You may have noticed... I tend to blog. Quite a bit more recently, in fact.

NaBloPoMo 2015 kind of sparked a dormant blogging demon that I didn't notice I had. I suppose it's not that big a surprise, a blogging demon is just a type of writing demon, and I have plenty of those.

But blogging can be fickle. I have absolutely no bl**dy clue whether a post is going to be popular before it's out there, in the big wide world, for everyone to see (and for quite a few people not to see I suspect.)

I can spend ages planning out and writing a post, for it to get a handful of views. But my most popular post to date, The Bookish Rebel, is a post that I wrote all-at-once in the space of about quarter of an hour, basically just about me being me.

Don't get me wrong - I'm mightily proud of that post! Neither will I let myself get sloppy and just throw posts up willy-nilly (pride comes before a fall and all that jazz.)

I guess this post is just me having a think about blogging in general - and writing - and all of that. I may be rambling, it wouldn't be the first time! :)

The Writer Diaries (Or What I Learned From NaBloPoMo November 2015)

Ahhh... NaBloPoMo November 2015, what have you taught me? A few things, to be sure.

I Can Rise To Whatever Challenge I Set Myself

Honestly, I wasn't sure, when I decided to do this, if I could do this. But I did. 30 posts in 30 days. What does this prove? I can do whatever I want (goddammit!)

That doesn't mean that I can go over-doing it. Nope, no overwhelming pressure here! It just means that I'm capable: capable of doing a lot more than perhaps I give myself credit for.

Blogging Is Awesome Sauce, and Challenges Should Be Fun

This challenge has truly been fun. And I have really enjoyed blogging as a result. Which is good news if you like to read my bookish ramblings, because it means that I'm going to keep blogging for a good while yet.

Scheduling Posts is Helpful

Turns out, organisation can be useful when blogging like a maniac - I know, who knew, right? Scheduling has been pretty invaluable when it comes to keeping the posts rolling out.

I hope, that with my new blogging organisation skills, I can keep posting at a fairly substantial pace even beyond this month. (Although I hope you don't blame me for not posting 7 days a week every week - a girl's gotta have a break every now and then.) So, there's more to come from your humble Reading Addict.

I Have Things Worth Saying

I have some stuff to say - stuff that I hope you'll agree is worth hearing. Above all, I have a passion for books, for reading, for spreading the word of the joys of all that sort of stuff. I hope that my enthusiasm shines through my posting (I know my coffee drinking definitely does.)

The Writer Diaries (Or NaBloPoMo, Week 4, Re-Cap)

Almost there now - woo! Just two days and the dying embers of November NaBloPoMo 2015 will be all but extinguished (check me out, being all poetical and sh**!) I'm happy to say, with the finish line in site, that I rose to the challenge.

But we have some unfinished business to attend to, so here it is, my re-cap of Week 4:

(A reminder that I use the British/European date format of dd/mm/yy.)

Sunday, 22/11/15
Nerd Church - Four Tales of Incredible Courage


Monday, 23/11/15
Reviewing the Evidence Time! (Graphic Novel Edition!) - The Hockey Saint by Shapiro, Inoue, and Mossa


Tuesday, 24/11/15
Survival Kit For A Winter's Day


Wednesday, 25/11/15
Why Do Books Make Great Gifts?


Thursday, 26/11/15
Comics Wrap Up + MCU Fangirling - Hockey and Family Problems PLUS CIVIL WAR TRAILER!!!!


Friday, 27/11/15
Friday Fics Fix! - In Which Olicity is Fluffy

The Writer Diaries (Or NaBloPoMo, Week 3, Re-Cap)

Luckily, I haven't found this week so difficult as last week in terms of blogging. Sure, it's still been tricky on times, but it's certainly been less of a struggle.

Only a week (plus a few days,) left to go of NaBloPoMo November 2015 - and I reckon that I can do this :)

So, Week 3 looked a little something like this:

(A reminder that I use the British/European date format of dd/mm/yy.)

Sunday, 15/11/15
Nerd Church - A Little Bit of Hope


Monday, 16/11/15
What Makes a Good Book Review?


Tuesday, 17/11/15
Reviewing the Evidence! - The First Man by Gavin Frankle


Wednesday, 18/11/15
Are Target Audiences Holding Books Back?


Thursday, 19/11/15
Comics Wrap Up - The Line Between Hero and Villain


Friday, 20/11/15
Friday Fics Fix! - In Which There is Randomness and Ice

The Writer Diaries (or NaBloPoMo Week 2, Re-Cap)

The second week of NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month - hosted by BlogHer,) was, I have to admit, a bit more of a challenge than the first. But I made it goddammit!!! With a good slosh of coffee, a fair pinch of luck, and a f**k load of typing, I made it! :) Yay.

Hopefully (she said, doubting her words before they're even spoken,) I won't have such trouble in the next two weeks - I'm half-way through after all! Posting every day for a month! I can do this! ...Probably. No. I can do this. Wish me luck!

Week 2 Re-Cap:

*A reminder that I write dates in the British/European format of dd/mm/yy*

Sunday 08/11/15

Nerd Church - A Reader Lives a Thousand Lives...

Monday 09/11/15

Books Everyone Else Seems to Have Read (But I Haven't)

Tuesday 10/11/15

Reviewing the Evidence Time - Exposure by Kathy and Brendan Reichs

Wednesday 11/11/15

The Bookish Rebel

Thursday 12/11/15

Comics Wrap Up - A World in Trouble 

Friday 13/11/15

Friday Fics Fix! (In Which There is Nothing but Smut)

The Writer Diaries (Or NaBloPoMo Week 1, Re-cap)

This month, I'm participating in BlogHer's NaBloPoMo for November 2015. This is similar to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) in that it's a month long writing challenge. In NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) bloggers are challenged to post every single day that month. While I'm not in the same 'nation' as BlogHer, who are based in the US, pretty much everyone ignores the 'National' part of these challenges anyway, so I figured it'd be fun to throw my hat into the ring - it'd give me an excuse to write some stuff anyhow, without the added pressure of a particular project to be concentrating on.

At the end of week 1, I'm feeling in fine spirits (wonder how long that'll last.) At the moment, this is pretty enjoyable - though I imagine it's going to get harder as the month wears on.

*Just a note, the dates I refer to below are in the UK/European format of day/month/year.*

Week 1 Posts:

Sunday, 01/11/15

Nerd Church - I Understood That Reference

Monday, 02/11/15

Reviewing the Evidence (Graphic Novel Edition!) - Death Vigil (Vol #1) by Stjepan Šejić

Tuesday, 03/11/15

The Writer Diaries (Or, I Blog From the Heart, How 'Bout You?)

Wednesday, 04/11/15

Time to Review the Evidence (Graphic Novel Edition!) - Side-kicked by Berttholtz, Mendonca, and Dazo

Thursday, 05/11/15

Comics Wrap Up - Death and Side-kicks

Friday, 06/11/15

Friday Fics Fix! - The Ship That Dare Not Speak Its Name

The Writer Diaries (Or, I Blog From the Heart, How 'Bout You?)

There are a lot of blogs out there. So very many blogs are out there. Some like to wow with the flashy-flash, some like to use gifs until your eyes bleed, some feel very club-y and exclusive, some very welcoming.

I try to blog from the heart - as random-a** and batty as my heart is. I also try not to worry about chasing followers and views - you chase them, and they'll run away. Wait for them to come to you, grasshopper (man, I haven't watched Kung-Fu in ages...) Anywho, believe me or disbelieve me if you wish, but I try to just be really open and genuine with what I blog, and my reviews. If I enjoy it, and I really think it's worthy of praise, then praise is what it will get. If I dislike it, then I will say so.

I also have to admit that I'm not particularly good at being a part of either the Blogsphere or the Booksphere - you know, the social stuff, and what it's 'cool' to blog about at any particular time. And I'm OK with that. I'm a bit older than a lot of the girls out there blogging (granted, I'm also younger than many other book bloggers,) I have different interests, different life experience, and different tastes (I am nerd girl, hear me Squee!) I don't read things if they don't interest me, no matter how much buzz there is about them. I have my own, sometimes quirky, opinions, about a variety of subjects - and hopefully the people who actually do read this blog appreciate that.

So, I have no idea what spurred this post - something that was brewing in my fangirling heart, clearly. I will write what I mean though guys - always and forever (sorry, I've been watching too much of The Originals,) so I promise that I will do my best (honestly, you can tell I was a Guide,) to be an honest, quirky, and non-bandwagon-jumping blogger. Hope that's ok with all of you :)

The Writer Diaries (or How to Destroy a Blank Page)

I'm going to be honest. I'm usually honest. I don't lie to you nice people. Particularly not when you take the trouble to read my blog-posts. Anyway, back on-topic; I'm going to be honest - as a writer, I have absolutely no freaking idea where I'm headed. But I need to ignore that. I need to ignore the deep and painful bite of uncertainty, and concentrate on the words.

But, how do you do that? Well, do what works for you guys - honestly - anything to destroy that blank page. But what I find is that writing prompts give you something to write (and it's ok if it goes completely off-topic and/or is crap, and/or batsh** crazy.) And that keeps your imaginination (ok spelling police - imagination,) going and stops all of the words that are inside you from rotting you out from the inside :) (Never underestimate the power of the smiley face.)

Some people like to work on word quotas, page quotas, or time quotas. I'm a time quota kind of girl myself - never worry about how much you're writing, just take at least 10 minutes a day to write it.

I also personally like to keep a list of prompts, and cross off as I complete. If you don't want to do a prompt, and you find yourself consistently ignoring or avoiding it, scribble it out, and move on to another one. There are zillions of prompts out there, so there's no need to get hung up on one that clearly isn't working for you.

Writing prompt websites and generators range from the awesome to the crap to the preachy (I seriously dislike the preachy - writing is something you should not be guilted into unless it's by a meme of Tom Hiddleston/Loki - just type 'you should be writing Loki' into Google images and you'll see what I mean.)

I find the following sites generally useful when searching for prompts:

Writing Exercises - there are loads of generators here, including dialogue, scenario, and title. Occasionally this tosses you a prompt that's pretty lame. But overall, these are usable and creative and will make you think of different things (and allow you to kill the blasted blank page! Mwaha! :P )

The Pantomime Pony Writer's Den - also has a bunch of random generators (see the links on the side of the page) which have a variety of subjects to get the creative juices flowing. I find that some of their prompts are pretty darn random (which can be fun!) and can also be so long that you can sometimes split them into two prompts (BOGOF anyone? Haha. Sorry, I'm now wondering what was in that chocolate bar I had at lunch.)

Chaotic Shiny generates multiple prompts at a time. Use the drop-down to pick the number of prompts, then click Write! The prompts have variations on time and word count criteria, but don't feel too constrained - use as desired.

Tumblr and Pinterest also have dozens (and probably hundreds or even thousands) of users who provide a constant stream of writing prompts - these are pretty easy to find if you use the search box.

Happy writing (and reading, of course!)

The Writer Diaries (or Heaven Knows I'm Busy Now)

Busy? Me? Pshaw! Ha, I just wrote the word pshaw (ok, so I may've just finished a cup of coffee...)

Anyway, it's not like I'm busy...I just have a blog to keep up, two beautiful kitties who want to play, a little thing called a job to do (alright, I'm self-employed, but that just means I have to make myself do everything for my business - there is no delegating here folks,) and numerous pieces of writing that I want to fit in, as well as reading to do (because that's obviously a necessity.) If I miss anything out, it'll be the reading and the writing - which I don't want to do. Because even though I need cash in my pocket and am a one-woman self-employed business-machine (who is terminally skint,) you gotta have time for your other passions too (don't get me wrong, my business is one of passions - I just am not willing to give up on something that is a fundamental part of me (i.e. reading, writing,) on behalf of limited financial gain. To paraphrase an admirable pirate, it's a good thing I'm crazy, because otherwise this'd never work.)

So, I have a cunning plan Mr B (ok, too much vintage comedy for me,) - I'm going to squish and squash the writing and reading into the secret moments. There will be audiobooks while I work. There will be writing exercises where I use a prompt for ten minutes with little to no plan for what to do with the sh** on the page when I've finished. There will be determination! And if I fall, I'm not going to look at the negatives, I'm going to focus on the positives - because what I've achieved is amazing! (Positive... yeh... let's see how long this lasts folks... still, you've gotta hit the depression with a hammer somehow...)

The Writer Diaries (Or, Feel the Fear, and Write it Anyway)

Like many an erstwhile reader and blogger, your dear Reading Addict dreams of one day being called a writer. Except it's more than a dream, isn't it? If you've been there, then you know that it is.

I've moaned about my life before now and in the course of that post (which was a lot less self-pitying than I make it sound here, honest!) I mentioned that one of the reasons I started this blog was because I've always wanted to be a writer. And it's true. I can't stop writing sh**.

I also love reading. Love it, love it, love it (as you've probably guessed from the books blog...) I know I'm a reader - and I don't make any money out of that either, so why does it feel so weird to call myself a writer? I write loads - and not just e-mails like most people I know. I pretty much write anything and everything. But, aside from blogging etc., and a few things I wrote a million years ago for kiddies competitions, I'm unpublished. Is that my problem? Is that why I can't bring myself to call myself a writer; I don't call myself an artist either, and I draw and paint a sh**-load too. I call myself a knitter, a card-maker, a crafter - and I don't do any of those professionally.

Is it a case of acceptability? If you call yourself a writer, an artist, a painter, a singer, a musician, then you're revealing a part of yourself to the world - a deep-seated part that feels more than a little vulnerable to the criticism you receive, not only for your work, but for the very fact that you have work. Being a knitter, a reader, a dancer, whatever somehow seems more socially acceptable, because a lot of people have those hobbies and it's considered 'normal' - something that anyone can do if they have the time and the inclination (even if that's only true to a greater or lesser extent.) Being a writer is something you're born with - I'm sorry, but it's true. I can't remember a time when I didn't write - literally. (And I'll let you in on a little secret - if you want to be a writer, then you are.)

Should I give up? Never write another word? Even the idea is making my anxiety flare up!

But then, what can I do about the fear of being judged because of who I am - a writer, albeit an unpublished one? I acknowledge it (never ignore your feelings people - it's not healthy,) and then, what I need to do, is to say screw it and write anyway! I know that this is easier said than done. But I have a secret weapon - I love writing. There is nothing like that feeling - just like there's nothing like the feeling of reading, or the feeling of drawing, or the feeling of painting... All of these things are different, and all are so amazingly absorbing that you know when they're for you.

That's not to say that every moment of it will be pleasurable - far from it! I veritably turn the air blue with my swearing (and that's just the stuff I don't type!) and I doubt that people who play tennis enjoy slipping on the court; I doubt that people who collect sh** enjoy it when they can't find that limited edition - or when they drop and smash that prized possession. But goddamnit I'm writing anyway! If you enjoy something - do it! (Within legal and moral parameters people please, I'm not going to be blamed for a crime spree.)