#DisabilityDiaries2017 | The Writer Diaries - The Challenges of Writing With Depression and Anxiety

(This post discusses mental illness, depression, anxiety, and brief references to suicidal thoughts.)


There's this myth that having a mental illness somehow makes you a better writer.

The tortured artist, able to bring forth the most beautiful art from their pain.





That myth is complete b*lls**t.

If anyone with a mental health problem is creating beautiful art or writing, it is in spite of not because of their illness.

For the love of whatever higher force you believe in, do not demean the efforts of artists and writers by saying that it's 'only' because they have mental health problems that they can do these things.

Because it's damned hard.

It can be hard enough to do the day-to-day things with mental health problems. Writing? Can be a constant f**king marathon.






Like a lot of people, I've always wanted to write.

Maybe 'wanted' is the wrong word - I've always written, because it's just a part of who I am. Call it a character trait if you like.

Now, I'm sure a fair amount of you will be familiar with the insecurities and worries of being a writer.

There's something about writing that is intensely personal, and you're putting it on display. Who wouldn't be worried?

When you have depression and anxiety though, all those insecurities are magnified.

There are challenges to writing, to wanting to be 'a writer' when you have these conditions.

Here are a few them:

(This is just my own experiences and opinions guys. Everyone experiences mental health problems differently. Also, self-care guys - if you have to stop reading for your own mental health, you freaking do it!)

1. Feeling you're not good enough.

I'm sure most people have thought this at some point when looking back at their own writing. I think it almost every time I read something I've written.

Worse, sometimes this can lead to a thought spiral: this isn't good enough and it's what I've always wanted to do, I can't do anything right, why do I bother...?

Sometimes it gets darker than that, but I don't want to bring you all down.

2. What if...?

When you have anxiety problems, 'what if...?' is a dangerous trap to fall down. It can keep you stagnant just because you're too terrified of either success or failure.

Yes, I have anxiety issues around success, as well as failure.

• If people actually like what I write, what if I can't replicate that a second time?

• What if I have to go to events and lit festivals? That would mean travelling, meeting new people, speaking about my own writing, ending up in the right place at the right time... all things that give me massive anxiety issues.

• What if people don't think I'm worthy of the success?

Imagine these sorts of thoughts, spinning through your head faster and faster, as your breath gets shallow and you shake and start to feel dizzy. Anxiety is a b**ch.

3. Writing affects your mood.

I'm pretty good at listening to the warning signs when I'm reading something that is going to send my mood off-kilter.

...It isn't always what you think either - sometimes I can't read happy things because I think I'll never have that, and that has a bad effect.

But with reading, like I said, I've gotten pretty good at matching to my mood. It's part of the reason I read so many different books at once - I can match the book to what I'm feeling.

Writing? Writing is something I get lost in... and I don't always notice when it's affecting my mood.

4. My motivation goes to sh**.

I nearly gave up on this post numerous times. If you're reading it, it means I somehow managed to a) finish it, and b) convince myself to actually publish it.

I will start writing something and just... give up.

I won't be able to convince myself to finish it. Why would I? It's never going to be decent enough for people to read anyway... See? That's the sort of sh** my brain throws at me.

And sometimes I'm just too damned tired.

5. I can't concentrate.

Sometimes I actually feel like I just can't think.

Depression makes your thoughts fuzzy and makes concentration difficult. So I will start writing something, and then just... not know what I was doing with it.

Or I'll not be able to get out what I'm thinking onto the page or screen because it just... gets lost somewhere.

So yes, writing is something I've always wanted to do. No, I'm not going to give up... but my writing doesn't come from my illness.

My illness has tried to kill my writing - has tried to kill me - on more than one occasion. Please bear that in mind.

Like this post? Try these:

• #DisabilityDiaries2017 | Review! - Unspeakable by Abbie Rushton
• #DisabilityDiaries2017 | Nerd Church - No Shame, No Stigma
• #DisabilityDiaries2017 | Harry Potter and the Representation of Scarring
• Nerd Church - Mental is Physical

#DisabilityDiaries2017 | Review! - Unspeakable by Abbie Rushton

Title: Unspeakable

Author: Abbie Rushton

Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, LGBTQ+ (M/F; F/F)

Amazon: UK - USA

A few starting notes:

If anyone with, or with first-hand experience of, selective mutism or OCD, has reviewed this book, please let me know - I'd love to leave a link to your review.

I'm not sure how I feel about this book.

There were parts of it I truly loved and parts which... I just wasn't comfortable with. There are a lot of problems with this book.

So prepare yourself nerdlets, we're gonna discuss some sh**.

(Seriously, if you need the loo or whatever, go now and come back, because once I've started I'm not stopping.)

Premise:

Megan hasn't spoken in months. Because there are things people don't know - things about the day when everything changed, the day she stopped talking.

But then Jasmine started at school. Beautiful, bright, bubbly, Jasmine... and for the first time in a long while, Megan might just want to talk again.

Best bits:

I loved that Megan's problems aren't simple.

Too often, depictions of mental health problems are put down to textbook examples, and left there.

The truth is that everyone's problems affect them differently, and that sometimes conditions combine to have a joint effect on someone's life.

I also liked Jasmine - I've seen a lot of criticism of her character, but I liked her. Yes, she's pretty idealised. But she's also not perfect.

And, honestly, the hope that there are people like her in the world - people who will accept you as you are - is not a bad thing. If you're a queer teen, and/or a teen with mental health problems, that hope might just be a lifeline.

I also thought the relationship between Megan and her mother was realistic and beautiful. They struggled a lot with how to relate to each other, but there's an amazing undercurrent of love between them.

And that part of Megan - written in bold, large, italics - which tells her she ruins everything, which she has to push past, push against, push through? Yes. I've been there. And it felt... real.

It's also exceptionally readable - the prose is skilled and involving throughout, and you really do want to know what happens.

There's just a lot of heart to this book, y'know? And that's great.

Not so great bits:

First things first, there's a lot of potentially distressing/difficult to deal with content, here:

• grief
• mental health problems
• low self-esteem
• anxiety
• implied OCD
• selective mutism
• bullying
• anonymous threats
• guilt
• violence
• arson
• animal cruelty/violence to animals
• attempted suicide
• homophobia
• ableism
• poverty
• physical abuse from a parent
• implied domestic abuse

There's also some swearing, drink-driving, and underage drinking (which you shouldn't do, in case you were wondering.)

I have problems with this book, nerdlets, both in terms of queer representation, and mental health representation.

Let's start with queer rep:

Megan, who is lesbian (although the word is never used, at least not as an identity rather than a slur, she has no attraction to men/boys,) goes on a date with a boy - Luke.

Now, it's entirely true that sometimes questioning lesbian teens go on dates with boys - BUT A NON-LESBIAN WOMAN WRITING THIS JUST FEELS FREAKING AWKWARD.

I don't know Abbie Rushton's orientation, but she mentions her male fiancée in the acknowledgements, so at the time of writing she didn't identify as lesbian.

The whole date felt a) forced and b) a gimmick - 'look! She's not attracted to him! Look at the lesbian!'

She also has Megan kiss Luke and enjoy it - again, if Rushton were lesbian and understood the issues at play here, then fine.

As it is? I don't think she understands enough to be writing these things in. #SorryNotSorry.

That whole plot-point just feels unnecessary and awkward.

Oh, and there's a male character who only exists for the homophobic bullies to pick on. We're not even told if he's actually queer, and we learn nothing about him as a person. #JustNo.

Now for the mental health rep.

This is disappointing, because there is good mental health rep here, but there's also poor mental health rep:

• Megan's implied OCD is never addressed - we don't know if this is something she had prior to the traumatic event or not, and it just peters out as the story goes on.

• [Luke's] mental health problems are both skirted over, and scapegoated. Everything's fine because we shoved [him] in a psych ward! The other crazy person did it! Not the 'good' crazy person. *Sighs*

• Her psychologist acts like a douche. I don't mean just pushes her to explore her problems. I mean he intentionally upsets her. And somehow acting that out of line is ok, and he's some kind of saint in comparison to her 'out of order' response. The message this sends is... troubling.

• Love cures mental health problems. Ugh. So sick of this. Love is not all you need guys, sorry.

• Selective mutism is rarely a result of traumatic events*, and certainly the way in which Megan's mutism descends at the event, fully formed, and stays more-or-less stable until Jasmine shows up...? I have a limited knowledge of mutism, but this seems reductive and unrealistic to me. Please correct me if I'm mistaken; like I said, my knowledge of this is limited.

• Sometimes the impression is given that Megan could speak if she wasn't trying to hide what actually happened. This isn't clear-cut, but is definitely something to keep an eye on. 👀

*where it is the result of traumatic events, it's usually a symptom of PTSD. PTSD is never mentioned in the book, and if this was the author's intent, then I don't feel it was put over clearly enough.

Verdict:

Do I know how to feel about this book now? Nope.

Look, part of me was just really connected to a queer girl with mental health problems... please don't judge me for that.

And parts of this were good. But the representation fell down on more than one front.

That's fine if everyone's going into this with eyes wide open... but there are so many misconceptions about mental health and being queer out there already, that it could do more harm than good.

Buy Now UK – Buy Now USA – Goodreads

  

Liked this post? Try these:

• #DisabilityDiaries2017 | Nerd Church - No Shame, No Stigma
• #DisabilityDiaries2017 | Harry Potter and the Representation of Scarring
• Mental Health Conditions ARE Real Problems - And Books Need To Realise It
• 5 Simple Rules For Reading and Reviewing LGBTQ+ Books

#DisabilityDiaries2017 | Nerd Church - No Shame, No Stigma

Yours truly is currently involved in #DisabilityDiaries2017 - an awesome event which I urge you all to support.

(The lovely Ely @ Tea and Titles came up with the idea of Disability Diaries - a week long event running from 14th-21st Jan 2017, discussing disability, books, and disability in books. 

Ely, myself, Angel @ Angel Reads, Dina @ Dinasoaur, Jolien @ The Fictional Reader, and Lara @ Another Teen Reader are running it.)

And I think there's a heffalump* in the room that needs addressing: too often, disabled people are made to feel stigma and shame. And f**k that!

*I say heffalump instead of elephant. You can blame the combined forces of my mother and Winnie-the-Pooh.





It's difficult as all hell to even explain to people that you have an illness, disability, or other health condition. AND IT SHOULDN'T BE.





So, with no shame on my part, here are my (current) disabilities and health conditions:

• depression and anxiety
• skin allergies/contact dermatitis
• suspected dyscalculia
• episodic migraines with constant associated photosensitivity
• slight physical birth defect

No shame. No stigma. Health conditions are a part of life.

I hope you can join us on Twitter and on our blogs throughout this week - it's gonna be awesome!







Like this post? Try these:

• #DisabilityDiaries2017 | Harry Potter and the Representation of Scarring
• Nerd Church - Well, That Was Unpleasant
• Friday Fics Fix - Let's Do This

#DisabilityDiaries2017 | Harry Potter and the Representation of Scarring

(Flashing Images Warning: there are some gifs with flashing images in this blogpost which may cause problems for those with photosensitive conditions such as epilepsy or migraines.)



Let's kick off Disability Diaries 2017 with something a little different. Let's talk about scars.

(The lovely Ely @ Tea and Titles came up with the idea of Disability Diaries - a week long event running from 14th-21st Jan 2017, discussing disability, books, and disability in books. 

Ely, myself, Angel @ Angel Reads, Dina @ Dinasoaur, Jolien @ The Fictional Reader, and Lara @ Another Teen Reader are running it.)

Scars. A physical sign of illness and injury. Not a disability, but often an indication of one, and often made into one by the way society treats them.

I have a lot of scars.

My scars are mundane - sorry, but there's no cool story of danger and adventure, neither is there any trauma you can romanticise.

But I'm covered in lines of silver, purple, and pink.

I scar easily - my skin is 'sensitive,' which is another way of saying 'my skin reacts to numerous substances and allergens, because my immune system treats them as a threat.' But that's not as pithy, I agree.

My skin also takes a long time to heal. So a simple scratch from my cat may leave a reddish purpleish line for 6 months or more.

So, with my variety of permanent, semi-permanent, and temporary scars, I notice the way we portray scars, in books and elsewhere.

Guess what? Society and media is cr*p at representation of scars. And for someone with low self-esteem (hello there! 🙋) it can have a really negative affect on how you view yourself.

Shall we take our most well-known scarred hero as an example?

(And I'd like to just point out that, like most people, I love Harry Potter and simply want to use this as an example to discuss scarring. It's really not an attack on anyone's enjoyment of anything.)

via GIPHY

What do we know about Harry Potter's famous scar?

• it's lightning shaped
• it's the result of a magical curse that rebounded
• it's on his forehead
• it gives him magical Spidey-sense to let him know when Voldemort's faffing about
• it's permanent

And what does that tell us, my nerdlets, about the representation of scarring here?

His scar might be shaped like a lightning bolt, but it's a clean line.

Scars are often jagged, uneven, and/or unsightly.

Rowling falls into the trope of Good Scars vs Evil Scars - good scars, the kind heroes get, are either attractive or barely noticeable.

They are clean lines, as if made by a precision instrument, and healed evenly.

The villains get to have 'scary' jagged or unsightly scars, to show that they're evil inside and out (*sighs*.)

via GIPHY

It gives Harry a dramatic backstory.

It's a sign that he's 'the Chosen One' - it's derring-do and noble-suffering bound into one little line on his head.

And, just to be handy, it never dries out and flakes in the winter, forcing him to use non-heroic moisturiser.

Harry's scar is easily hidden.

Harry wears his hair long to hide his scar. While I would defend the right of anyone with a scar to either hide it, or display it, as they choose, why does Rowling choose to hide Harry's scar?

Is it, perhaps, because society sees facial imperfections and scars as something shameful, some sign of corruption? 

By hiding his scar, he can hide his imperfection. Rowling's hero is flawed, but not where anyone can see it.

But guess what? Scars are ok. They are not a corruption, or a flaw of character. They are simply damaged skin.

Harry's scar 'aches.'

OK, I'm about to blow your mind - SCARS DON'T HURT. Yes, yes, magic and all that. But scars have limited pain receptors.

Unless you cut through all the skin layers, they will very rarely actually hurt. The skin around them might ache or hurt, especially if they've dried out and tightened, but the scar itself? Not usually.

Scars are simply the result of collagen healing the skin. Yeah - collagen, that stuff they put in dermal fillers? Very few pain receptors.







And Harry's scar has magical Voldy Spider-sense.

Granted, this is handy plot-wise, and has the added 'oh, poor Harry!' effect that Rowling was clearly going for.

But what is this saying, really?

That scars are a constant reminder of the bad parts of your life and your past? That physical scars and psychological ones are directly linked?

That scars have to be (as Dumbledore says) 'useful' in order to be present on a hero instead of on a villain?

via GIPHY

Scars actually change over time, you know that?

They can change vastly for about 2 years after the injury or other damage to the skin, and can change in appearance after that as your body ages.

You wouldn't think that, given that scars in so many books etc. are either healed completely within a week or two, or permanently in a specific state for the rest of the character's life.



If your character ages, their scar should too.

Stretch marks in particular will silver as you get older (and no, stretch marks aren't just from pregnancies - they also occur in growth spurts, and sometimes around injuries where the skin has had to grow more quickly than normal in order to heal the wound.)

I have a small indented scar above my eye from where I had some face-time with a table aged six (it had staples sticking out of it, and accident-prone Cee over here just had to connect with the stapled portion of the table.)

It looks different all the freaking time. If I'm tired, it really stands out. Some days, it's barely there at all. Skin is stretchy and crinkly - especially on your face.






So, there I am as a kid, reading Harry Potter, and wondering why the hell his scar looks the same all the time? Why doesn't it flake? Why is it aching, but never pulling with skin tightness?

Facial skin moves a lot, and you know those lines you get in your forehead when you're making expressions? They should've made Harry's scar look different all the time.





Ms Rowling chose to give Harry a facial scar, yet doesn't seem to know what that entails.

I would've loved it if he wandered down to Madame Pomfrey every now and then in winter to ask for lotion of some kind.

Or maybe a description of the weird feeling of not-feeling when you move a joint or a muscle (like, in your forehead, for example) with a scar overlapping it?





Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Harry, or against J K Rowling. It just would've been nice if, when writing a kid with a scar, she thought about what that was like.

Like this post? Try these:

• The Harry Potter Tag
• Nerd Church! - 5 Things Characters Do That You Shouldn't

Nerd Church - Well, That Was Unpleasant

(This post discusses mental health problems, stigma, anxiety, and a brief mention of suicide)

Kind of ironic - on Friday I posted about ableism, not knowing that I would face it on the same day.

Let me give you a scenario, dearest nerdlets.




Imagine you have anxiety problems. Imagine you're having a flare-up, and something that seems everyday to everyone else is terrifying to you.

I don't mean just worrying. I mean terrifying - the kind of terrified you'd feel if you lost a kid at the supermarket or were having trouble opening your parachute after jumping out of a plane.

Imagine you freak out, but manage to gather yourself up. You manage to push through and do the thing that's terrifying you.






And then someone draws attention to your weird behaviour, loudly, in front of a group of strangers.

It would hurt, yes?





Fine, maybe they don't understand why you were acting like that, but surely they can see that you were freaked out - for whatever reason - and maybe, I don't know, not embarrass you in front of random-a*s members of the public?!

I mean, really, is that so difficult?

via GIPHY

OK - explanation time:

I had to catch a train.

Trains make me nervous at the best of times - social interaction with strangers plus weird track vibrations plus the fact that I'm terrible at figuring out which one is my stop and what the time is, all add up to an at best slightly awkward experience.

(FYI - I could go on to list more reasons I dislike trains, but this post is about stigma not transportation.)

So, the gap from station to train was bigger than average - it's quite a leap there, and I have short legs.




And, as mentioned, my anxiety was flaring up. And someone had killed themselves a little further down the line less than a week earlier.

So I pulled back, and freaked a little. My breathing was getting pretty hectic, and my hands were starting to shake a little.






Honestly? I could very well have gone into full-on panic attack mode if The Bestie hadn't just smiled in understanding, held out a hand for me to grab, and pulled me onto the train (did I mention I have the best Bestie?)

So, I'm on the train, apologising to The Bestie for being a pain (and her telling me to stop apologising,) and trying to get my breathing back to normal, the ticket conductor guy comes over so that we can buy our tickets.





I'm sure he didn't mean to completely humiliate me by saying that he thought I was never getting on, and thought he'd have to 'bung you on myself' (this guy was huge, so that thought wasn't particularly reassuring.)

I'm sure he didn't mean to nearly bring me to tears by saying all of this loudly in front of a carriage full of people who may or may not have seen me freak out at the station, and chuckling as if it was all one big joke.

But he did.

via GIPHY

I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I wanted to burst out crying. I literally felt so stupid in that moment.

Look, I don't blame him for not figuring out why I was acting oddly - I don't wear a sign with 'Has Mental Health Problems' around my neck - but surely common sense should have made him keep his mouth shut?





I could've been freaking out for literally any reason.

I might've had vision problems, and wasn't able to see how to get across the gap. I might've had mobility problems and been worried about how to get across. I might've had PTSD, and been having a flashback.

I might just have been having a real sh**ty day that just got too much.

There are a million things that might've made me act a little weird.





The moral of this story, dearest nerdlets? Put yourself in the other person's position. Would you like it if someone treated you like this?








Like this post? Try these:

• Friday Fics Fix - Let's Do This
• Nerd Church - Asking For Help

Friday Fics Fix - Let's Do This

Shall we stand up for what's right some more? Sounds like a plan to me!

And who better to help with that, really, than the Avengers? (Yes I'm obsessed with Marvel, but, honestly, you should know this by now!)

This time around we also have Daredevil - superhero; skilled lawyer; and, yes, blind.

Matt/Daredevil is a grown man, but ableism has a tendency to mean that people treat you like a child. But when you actually need help, they don't give a sh**. Honestly, people can be jerks.

via GIPHY

The Avengers though, they know how to be good allies to disabled people.

(Hint: it involves treating people like people.)

via GIPHY

So, in my ever-continuing search to use fanfiction to change the world I give you:

Avengers v. Ableism by whitchry9

Go out and be awesome guys ;)

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• Friday Fics Fix - For You, America
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Review! (Graphic Novel Edition!) - Who Killed Kurt Cobain?: The Story of Boddah by Nicolas Otero

Title: Who Killed Kurt Cobain?: The Story of Boddah

Author: Nicolas Otero

Genre: Graphic Novels, Magic Realism, Contemporary, Biography, Non-Fiction* (*ish)

Release Date: 8th November

Amazon: UK - USA

A few starting notes:

I received a free digital review copy of this book via NetGalley. NetGalley provides review copies from publishers in exchange for fair and honest reviews.

If anyone who has bipolar disorder and/or drug/alcohol addiction problems has reviewed this book, let me know and I will provide a link to your review.

This is weird. And probably needs to come wrapped in a 'trigger warning' protective plastic cover.

That said, this was interesting - so let's get down to this review, shall we?

Premise:

Kurt Cobain's suicide note was addressed to Boddah.

Now, given the amount of conspiracy theories over Cobain's death, Boddah's identity and role has been discussed a lot.

The simple truth, though, is that Boddah was Cobain's imaginary friend as a kid.

This is the story of Nirvana, Kurt, Courtney, and Kurt's death - as told by Boddah.

Best bits:

Otero seems to honestly feel for Cobain - which stops the book from feeling as exploitative as I feared it would. (It still does feel disrespectful though - see next section.)

We're encouraged to empathise with a man who was, at heart, actually very childlike and lost.

I felt like the image of Kurt given here was one of an actual human being - as opposed to the caricature or legend that he's become since his death.

This book is also down-right heart-breaking. You are right there with Courtney screaming at Kurt to open the bathroom door, watching him as he slowly self-destructs, and unable to help.

The artwork is serviceable - and the boldness of the more experimental hallucinatory-type panels was sometimes breath-taking.

The way Boddah seems so realistic is impressive. He loves Kurt; when Kurt is gone... the panels where Boddah is left without him are just heart-breaking.

Not so great bits:

Things drawn graphically in this book that people need to be aware of:

• drug-use (including heroin injection and joint smoking)
• sex
• child abuse (physical, emotional)
• guns (and a suicidal fascination with them)
• attempted suicide
• drying-out in rehab
• self-harm (I think... not 100%, I might be misremembering - a lot happened in this book)
• hallucinations
• childbirth
• suicide - including a VERY graphic image of Kurt's dead body.

There's also swearing - but, to be honest, if you can get beyond the things listed above, swear-words aren't going to bother you.

The question of respect for both the living and the dead is a difficult one in this book.

Honestly? (And you guys know I'm always honest with you.) I found it quite disrespectful.

I sincerely doubt that anyone bothered to get Courtney Love's permission to draw her explicitly having sex with her late husband - and that's NOT OK. It's just not.

Likewise, I doubt permission was obtained from any of Cobain's family to show the final distressing panel of his dead body. Again, that's NOT OK.

I DO NOT THINK THE SHOCK-VALUE IS WORTH HURTING PEOPLE. If these were fictional characters, maybe it would be different. But they're not.

You're dealing with REAL people here - have some f**king respect, please!

I felt like Kurt's mental health problems weren't really explained. We got one or two blink-and-you'll-miss-them references to his bipolar disorder, and that is it.

Now, given that Kurt Cobain committed suicide, and there's a chance that Boddah was a hallucination brought on by the bipolar (or, indeed, a hallucination brought on by the drugs, or a combination of the two,) some attention to how his illness will have impacted on both his general mental state, and his susceptibility to drug and alcohol addiction, would have been a good idea.

Verdict:

It was interesting. It was readable. It was heart-breaking.

But there were also issues - and one's which can't be ignored; so give it a read if you want to, honestly, it's pretty fascinating, but do it with your eyes wide open.

Buy Now UK – Buy Now USA – Goodreads

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Friday Fics Fix - Dark Emrys

Now that Halloween is over, normal fanfiction service will resume ;) (well, as normal as it ever gets.)

This week's fic is based on the BBC series Merlin. Which you should totally look up if you haven't seen it, because it's a pretty damn cool series.

You know what I really love though my nerdlets? Well-written fanfiction. Fanfiction which could be an original short story, and no-one could argue (excluding the copyright issues of course.)

And when the well-written piece is about mental health? Dude, I'm there.








But guys: WARNING! This is not a happy fic. It's about depression and includes self-harm, and some physical restraint related to the self-harm.

You know what's best for you, but please stop reading/don't start reading if this is going to hurt you and/or your wellbeing, mm'k?








Personally though, I found this... honest. As someone with depression, I really could relate to the emotion, even though the circumstances were different to my own.

Not sure that the reaction of Merlin's friends (i.e. yelling at him,) is all that healthy. But realistic? Yeah, probably. Honest? Again, yes.

via GIPHY

So this week's fic rec is:


As the Sun Fades by Welcome to my House of Mirrors

Enjoy, take care of yourselves, and I'll see you next week with more fanfiction-y-ness.







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Review Time! (& GIVEAWAY! [closed]) - Star-Shot by Mary-Ann Constantine

Title: Star-Shot

Author: Mary-Ann Constantine

Genre: Magic Realism*, Sci-Fi* (*ish)

Amazon: UK - USA

A few starting notes:

I received a free copy of this book from the publishers, Seren Books, in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Well dearest nerdlets, today is my 2-year blog anniversary!

And, to celebrate, Welsh publishers Seren Books (Seren means star - yay, shiny!) have agreed to give-away 1 copy of Star-Shot by Mary-Ann Constantine.

So let's get on with this!

Premise:

In a version of the Welsh capital that is almost, but not quite, our own, something strange is happening in the city of Cardiff.

Pockets of silence are appearing - areas which seem to muffle, mute, and eliminate sound.

Against this backdrop, the winding nature of everyday life draws a group of people together; an unlikely group, who are, in one way and another, affected by the silence - can they also have an effect on it?

Best bits:

This whole book has an uber-cool atmospheric deal-y going on; like a fable or a myth, only with more of a contemporary setting, and it works very well. :)

I quite like the quick slips between Welsh and English.

This switch between the two is done well enough that non-Welsh-speaking folks will be able to follow without taking an intensive language course, but it still allows Welsh to have a place in what is otherwise an English novel.

The sense that this is a novel weaved together so that it fits as it's supposed to is strong throughout, and the language is languid and gentle without verging on boring.

I also love the way a multi-character cast is juggled so well here, never forgetting about anyone along the way.

And is there diversity? Yes, my nerdlets, there is.

We have named PoC characters who become more integral as we continue through the plot, and we also have a fair whack of disability representation on top.

I love that Lina, a Syrian refugee, is smart, clever, resourceful, and a scientist, despite the fact that she works as a cleaner in Cardiff.

And, I won't give it away because of spoilers, but there's a pretty damn good message here too.

Not so great bits:

None of the dialogue is in speech marks, it's all just part of the other text.

While this is clearly a clever way of showing the disconnect and muffling quality of the silence, it's not practical and led to me like: was this out loud? Who said that?

Yes, it's nice to be smart and experiment. No, it's not too big a deal. Yes, it is irritating.

Also, there was less of a sense of place than I was expecting.

I know Cardiff - yes, the features are Cardiff (with some of those quirky alternate-reality exceptions) but to me it didn't feel like Cardiff. 

This may just be me - I'm notoriously bad at sense of place in books (and in life... I get lost a lot...)

Also, while I liked the bilingual elements, your average day in Cardiff will involve a lot less Welsh language than this book suggests.

Verdict:

OK, this book is weird - but it's a good weird.

It's the kind of weird which keeps you reading, keeps you guessing, and is just my cup of tea (or coffee - I'm one of the few British people who can't stand tea. I know, she's a rebel.)

Buy Now UK – Buy Now USA – Goodreads - Seren Books

Giveaway details

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Open from 9.30 GMT on 31st October 2016 to 9.30 GMT on 1st November 2016. Open Internationally.