Apologies in advance for the existential crises that I may very well spark with this post.
I think I'm on like my fifth or sixth quarter-life crisis, so... yeah.
If you're someone who gets freaked out by existential 'what am I doing with my life?' stuff, consider this your warning!
I've never really wondered about what my life's purpose is - my life's purpose is books.
I've never doubted that I'm on this planet to read and write.
I don't doubt it any more than we doubt as a species that we're on this planet to breathe, eat, and sleep.
No, what gets my head in a twist is not the what... it's the why.
Why is my purpose books? Why do we have 'a purpose?'
Does everyone have 'a purpose?' And if not, why not?
Are we supposed to do something in particular with this purpose once we've found it?
Is there a pass/fail on this purpose? Is there a form we'll have to fill in at the end of it all justifying what we've done with our individual purposes?
Are these purposes decided for us by some deity/deities/the fabric of the cosmos?!
See? I'm good at the whole 'putting the nature of reality into question' thing. Sometimes I really wish I wasn't 😅
Basically, I have no need to search for my calling.
I just have no clue why I have one, and what I'm supposed to do with it now that it's here!
Isn't finding the calling/purpose supposed to be the end-goal? Once we have one aren't we just supposed to... know what we're doing?
If your purpose is being a doctor, you go be a doctor, right? Or do doctors secretly spend hours wondering why this is their calling?
Do they wonder if there's a reason they're doing this at all or whether it just sort of... happened? Do they wonder there's a level they're 'supposed' to get to?
Do they wonder if there's a particular person they're supposed to help? A particular thing they should be doing?
Or do they just wonder what they should have for dinner when they get home from work?
So, now that I've thoroughly freaked you all out - let's end on a positive note, shall we?
Whether you know what your purpose is or not, whether you have a purpose or not, and whatever your purpose is*, you are amazing.
You are not one thing. You are all of the millions of weird little things that combine to make you you.
You rock. Keep rocking. I love you my nerdlets.
*Unless your purpose is like... dealing drugs, or murder. Or similarly bad things. Then maybe don't do the thing.