Sunday 17 November 2019

Nerd Church - Think Before You Speak

Social media. 

Love it, loathe it, or (like most of us) find yourself somewhere in between.

Whatever you feel about the ol' socials, sh** escalates fast online!

I... kind of think that a lot of the escalation is related to people not having some sort of filter between their reaction and their mouths/fingers

- (talking and typing - I mean talking and typing. Minds out of the gutter nerdlets!)

illustration with White girl with brown hair looking at mobile phone
Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

I try not to speak (...type, whatever,) before I think.

I'm human, and I sure as hell have said some stuff I regret - and likely will in future. Online and offline.

Hooman beans are emotional creatures - we react. Sometimes we need to control that reaction a li'l more.

But I've also, several times, abandoned a tweet, a reply, a comment, whatever, before I've pushed Send - not cos I'm scared of giving my opinion -

(You know that's not true - if I feel what I have to say is important, I WILL say it dammit!)

- but because I've slowed down and thought things through.

And sometimes what I have to say is just unnecessary. 

It adds nothing to the conversation, and is kind of random (even for me,) so I save everyone time and brain-power, and delete.

Sometimes, I realise that what I'm saying is just being sharp and cruel for no reason.

When I was a kid, I used to fall back on sharp words as a defence mechanism against jerks.

...the thing is, I quickly learnt that using my barbed tongue could sometimes escalate the situation or cause hurt I didn't wanna cause.

And sometimes I realise that what I'm saying could be misunderstood, or given an intention that I don't mean to give it.

So, I delete, or I change.

Because language, words, social media, - it's all about communication.

And if you're communicating something opposite to what you intended?

You probably need to do something about it - especially if you manage to catch it before you tweet!

Do I want you to be afraid to speak your mind?


I NEVER want you to be afraid to speak your mind.

And the Truth™ is a powerful weapon - logic and facts do not bend to opinion, but do not confuse facts with opinion either!

You hopefully live in a country which allows you freedom of speech and expression - albeit it, it might be with restrictions against hate speech, like it is in the UK.

All I would like is for you to realise that words have consequences.

Those consequences might be that you look foolish.

They might be that you get reported to the social media platform. They might be that someone gets angry at you, criticises you, unfollows you, whatever.

They might be that you hurt someone else more than you could ever know.

Maybe you don't want to realise that, don't want to accept it.

I can't make you. I'm not your mother.

But it's probably a sign that you need to have a conversation or two with yourself about defensiveness vs compassion.

I'm not gonna pretend I'm some sorta saint.

I've said sh** I regret. There's probably even more sh** that I don't even remember saying.

Hell, I think we're all probably just a stone's throw from someone digging out some awful sh** you said years ago.

It's how you react now - it's how you act, moving forward - that matters.

And, before you speak, maybe try to spare a brain-cell or two to think things through.

What do you think?
Do you agree or disagree that people need to think things through more?
Talk to me! 💖💬

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Last updated: 31st Jan 2020


  1. I definitely think that people need to talk things through, especially before posting on social media. I read over my tweet drafts so many times before I actually send a tweet. I think that sometimes people just get too heated in the moment and they just spill out all of their thoughts. But, there is a chance to read over what you’ve written before hitting send!

    1. Reading things over can def. save a lot of trouble! :)

  2. I do the same thing... type up a response then abandon it unposted because I feel it’s unnecessary. And I wonder if I want that thought immortalized forever on twitter!? No. Haha great discussion ��

    1. Thank you :) And yeah, it's too easy sometimes to blurt stuff out online!

  3. So very true. I always try to think through what I type (or say) and imagine how the other person might take it, despite my intentions. I'm overly careful about that because it can be so easy to unintentionally hurt someone.

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

    1. Ha, I'm probably a little over-zealous, tbh, b/c my Anxiety sometimes convinces me *everything* I say is potentially offensive!

  4. Same here, and to the extent that I tend to avoid getting into conversations particularly on Facebook but also on Twitter because of how quickly people can get very nasty. I feel it's easier to forget our filters on social media because we are less likely to actually meet up with the recipients of our comments. We communicate more on a shouting-at-the-TV level, forgetting most other social media users are people just like us. Good post to think over, especially coming into silly season when folks can be more emotionally fraught than at other times of the year

    1. I agree, there a certain shouting-at-the-TV element. But I also think there's the opposite problem - people think that those reading/hearing their messages will know them enough to know what they meant by it. And that's not always the case!


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