Sunday 20 January 2019

Nerd Church - Caffeinated Current Events: Dear Lord, the Breakfast (Brexit)

I swear to God. I swear to Iesu Grist. Wtf parliament dudes?! Wtf?!

Breakfast (or, as some people call it, Brexit,) isn't going too well, so I'm hear to explain in a caffeine-fuelled, (hopefully) satirical fashion!

(Note: these are my opinions, you can totally disagree with me, I don't mind.)

Caffeinated Current Events title image with coffee cup

Yep, this is another 'Caffeinated Current Events' post - 'cos you lot seemed to like the last one.

(It's a little like Drunk History - only sober and present-day, so... not.)

What's the Breakfast situation? Let me 'splain.

Mrs May (the Prime Minister) came back from Brussels (the EU) with a Brexit deal.

We need a deal on the terms under which we're leaving the EU, because otherwise we face being unable to trade or deal affectively with an entire continent. #Fun.

It wasn't a great deal, but good Lord was it better than anything else the EU's gonna give us due to our decision in 2016 to throw our toys out the ever-loving pram and shoot ourselves in the metaphorical foot.

Disney Robin Hood, Prince John: 'No, no, no!' tantrum gif
Via Giphy

So she put the deal to parliament to give the old UK-OK to.

...Only parliament is full of schoolchildren.

Her deal was voted down, partly due to the 'Tory rebels' led by that pr*t Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Maybe one of these days they'll understand the irony of being a Conservative rebel:

"Anarchy in the UK!!!!"
"Alright, but we have to use coasters and be back by tea-time!"
"Of course! We're not *shudders* working-class"

Jacob Rees-Mogg is like a caricature of a Tory.

He's the upper-class twit from every Monty Python sketch, and actually brings his nanny on the campaign trail.

Graham Chapman as an upper-class twit
Via Giphy

Not his grandmother - his nanny, like Mary Poppins, only more pathetic. And yes, she's was HIS nanny, as well as his children's.

He's also against women's right to an abortion, and against LGBTQ+ rights.

So now you know what kind of posh toff w**ker we're talking about.

And of course, Labour voted the deal down too, because Corbyn (Labour leader/Lenin wannabe) wants a General Election.

...Because that's something that we TOTALLY HAVE TIME FOR RIGHT NOW *rolls eyes*

And for people who think an election is a good plan at this moment in time, I'll remind you that there's no way in hell Corbyn is gonna get a better deal than May got - and the EU have said so.

So, Mrs May, who has had enough now and just wants to do this sh**, has basically said 'answers on a post-card please.'

Like, I don't like Theresa May's politics - I think she's dismissive af to Wales, when she thinks of us at all, and has the general Tory attitude of putting profits before people - but in this circumstance?


And no-one's gonna get a better deal than she has.

I really respect her for what she's putting up with in this goddamn impossible situation.

And I honestly can't see any other politician saying that she's open to advice from ALL parties, and meeting with all of the party leaders

(...all the ones which would meet with her anyway, which doesn't include Mr Corbyn, who is still throwing toys out of said pram.)

So where does all this leave the UK?

Urm... not in a good place.

The levels of uncertainty are immense. Nobody knows wtf is gonna happen. And essentially the whole country looks like this:

SpongeBob and Patrick running back and forth screaming gif
Via Giphy

...and it honestly doesn't look like that's gonna change any time soon!

So... I wanted to make this post more light-hearted, but I honestly can't! Hopefully it's not too much of a downer.

What's your take on all this?
Talk to me! 😅💬

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Last updated: 25th Jan 2019


  1. I feel the same way about it. I'm not a fan of Mrs May by any stretch, but I do feel for her in this situation. It seems most of parliament will just keep voting 'No' out of spite, but we have to accept a deal sooner or later so her opponents need to suggest a decent solution instead of just attacking her. I would hate to see Rees-Mog take over her position. Your description of him as a Monty Python upper class twit is perfect.

    1. Totally 100% agree! This situation is impossible, and parliament just keep making things worse while trying to advance their own careers.

      And ha, thanks! He *is* though, isn't he? The similarities are uncanny! ;)

  2. You rant all you want Cee! Thanks for explaining everything in a way I would understand too, it gets a little confusing for those of us not in the loop!

    1. *whispers* It gets confusing to those of us watching in the UK too! ;)

  3. No comment to the political stuff (I don't know enough about what's going on there)...but your post did make me smile with your description of the Rees-Mog. :)

    1. Ha, fair enough. But yeah - that is Rees-Mogg in a nutshell! XD

  4. Well thank you! :) I figured we all need something of a summary! ;)

  5. I haven't been keeping up with exactly what's happening over there except to know that it's a mess. Sounds like an impossible situation!

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

  6. Things just... aren't going well Brexit wise. I didn't think Brexit was a good idea in the first place and with how things are going I just stand by this all being trouble >.>


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