Sunday 22 December 2019

Nerd Church - My Favourite Time of the Year (...Despite Everything)

(Warning: this post discusses bereavement, & other bad stuff that's happened to me at Christmas)

This week has been... difficult.

That's the polite way of describing it, anyway.

I don't want to go into the detail because I'm just gonna get really upset again -

- but basically, there's a serious and significant - though thankfully fixable, although in the long-term rather than the short-term - problem with my grandfather's grave.

'Happy Christmas! Nadolig LLawen!' with red background, and Christmas tree with presents on the left-hand side

So, yeah. That's what I've been dealing with in the week before Christmas.

I guess it could be worse - last year, in the week before Christmas, we buried him.

A few years before that, my other grandfather died on Christmas Eve, followed by his wife, my grandmother, four days later.

But this is still my favourite time of year.

Despite all the goddamn heartbreak - the year when I was a tiny kid and my cat died (also on Christmas Eve,)... six years ago, when my mam was on chemo... all of it - this is still my favourite time of year.


I could give you a million reasons (you know that I never have one reason for anything!) but the basic reason is this:

It's a holiday dedicated to being kind, and being happy.

I love all of it:

Lights, decorations, food, songs, movies, reindeer, snowmen, Father Christmas, robins, cards, wrapping paper, trees, charity, holiday-themed drinks, glitter everywhere...

I love all of it.

I get it if you don't. I get it if this time of year is difficult for you.

Hell knows that it can be hard if you're dealing with stuff. And putting pressure on yourself to enjoy something isn't gonna help - you feel whatever you feel.


And please, don't hesitate to get help if you need it - it's not your fault, and it's a sign of strength, not weakness.

International readers can check for helplines in this directory, and readers in the UK and ROI can get in contact with The Samaritans to talk about anything at all.

But I love it. And if I can make it through all that, and still love this time of year? Well, that's a gift too, right?

(...Yes, I realise that last part was corny. I don't care. It's Christmas!)

Happy Christmas/Nadolig LLawen dearest nerdlets!
Happy Holidays if you have a different festival!
Have a good normal Dec 25th if you don't have a celebration!

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Please share & comment dearest nerdlets! 💖

Last updated: 24th May 2020


  1. My grandmother died on New Year’s Eve, so this time of year is always bittersweet for me as well. Glad you find joy this time of year. I try to as well <3

  2. Merry Christmas! I love this time of year too. The food, the decorations, and the excitement are so much fun.

    Aj @ Read All The Things!

  3. That's hard. He'd want you to have a Happy Christmas though - so make sure you do! Thanks for visiting ABAB too.

  4. I love Christmas time too, and hope you had wonderful holiday. Good luck also with your grandfather's grave situation, I hope everything is working out.

    1. Thank you! <3 Hope you had a good Christmas & have a good New Year.

      Thanks... it's slowly being resolved. Very infuriating, very upsetting, and hopefully won't be worse than we thought! (Arguing with the County Council over whether the mistake was theirs, and who needs to foot the bill... argh!)

  5. Replies
    1. It more-or-less is, now, but we have to wait for the grave to re-settle to put the headstone back on *sighs* - it's better than the other outcomes would have been though.

      The Cemetery people were NOT helpful, and if it wasn't for our angry funeral director, who decided to take things on for us, we'd probably still be arguing with them; as it is, we've paid part of the bill, and they've paid the other part. They should've paid all of it and compensation as well as far as I'm concerned but *shrugs* it's sorted - and that's what matters most.


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