Sunday 21 June 2020

Nerd Church - A Short Ramble on Father's Day

Happy Father's Day!

This post is gonna be short and ramble-y because I have a migraine and it sucks. 

I'll be fine in a day or two, but I need to write this post now, when I feel like I've been hit by a shovel, which is great timing. 😅

And sorry if this post looks a little strange - migraines affect your vision with obstructions (like blindspots/sunspots,) light sensitivity, and colour differences, so if things look a little odd, then it's because I physically can't see the post or graphics in the way I normally would.

'A Short Ramble on Father's Day' against a wooden floor background, complete with mucky boot prints

I love my dad.

I know that, sadly, a lot of people have less-than-ideal relationships with their dad. A lot of people have no relationship with their dad. And a lot of people understandably don't want a relationship with their dad.

A lot of dads, likewise, may have mixed feelings about their relationships with their kids.

A lot of people have also lost their fathers, or their children, and that hurts.

So hugs all round, dearest nerdlets, hugs all round!

So, I realise that Father's Day is a sore point for a lot of people.

And that's totally understandable - take care of yourselves dearest nerdlets!

We've never really done much for Father's Day - if there's something specific that my dad wants then we'll buy it for him but he's generally one of those people who are awkward as hell to buy for.

So, what Father's Day usually means here is a card, a nice cup of tea, and an extra big hug.

Of course, I'll have to give him two extra big hugs this year, because although my brother's allowed to sit in our garden (so long as he's 2m away,) there's no hugging allowed for people outside the household (not in Wales anyhow.)

I also know that my parents both miss their fathers a lot on Father's Day - we usually put a picture of them next to a bunch of flowers, but we haven't had chance to get flowers this year.

There's a lovely picture of both of my grandfathers at my brother's wedding that we like to put up. Which means even though he's now divorced, that day can still give us some happiness.

Both of my grandfathers loved flowers - they were both gruff softies from very poor backgrounds, but to be honest the similarities end there!

They loved flowers though. And gardens.

My dad does too - though he prefers them in the garden to in the house.

So, when I was a very small kid (I'm talking about 3 or 4,) I thought flowers were for men, mostly.

I never thought women couldn't like flowers - but they were something I mostly associated with blokes until society taught me the so-called error of my ways.

My gramps was always so proud of the flowers in his garden, and always telling my dad off for having too many 'shrubs' and not enough flowers.

I know I was lucky in having three men in my life that loved cuddles, and animals, and pink flowers, and respected women.

(I'm not gonna pretend that my grandfathers were totally enlightened when it came to women's rights etc. - but they were pretty good. Especially considering they were brought up in the 30s and 40s.)

I hope that whatever relationship you have with your dad and/or kids, you enjoy today. 

Even if, to you, it's just another Sunday.

And if it's an occasion that brings back hurts, I hope it doesn't sting too bad - if it hurts, it hurts, but I wish I could take it away for you. Take care, ok?

Love you, dearest nerdlets.

Hope you enjoyed this post - short and ramble-y though it was! It was nice to write something a little more laid-back this week, anyhow.
Happy Father's Day!

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  1. I really enjoyed this post, Cee! My dad is also very much into gardening and flowers. I've always loved that he's not really into the stereotypical "manly" stuff that capitalism wants us to buy our fathers for father's day. Tbh my dad is more in love with my dog than my mom is, so if anything I would buy a cute stuffed toy for the dog on father's day and it would be the best gift ever for him!

    P.S. Hope your migraine gets better :)

    1. (That's cos dogs are awesome!) My dad wanted to have all the kitties when we to the shelter to find ours - he's such a softy! He likes tools & stuff as well - and his model trains. He and my boy-cat go do 'manly' stuff together - like putting furniture together. It's kind of adorable ;)

      Thanks Em! A lot better but it's still hanging on a little.

  2. Oh no Cee, I hope you're feeling better - migraines are so annoying!
    It's great that the men in your life enjoyed flowers and cuddles and things like that - there are a lot of men who feel uncomfortable with sharing that! Breaking down toxic masculinity, one step at a time!

    1. Thanks Gerri - feeling much better, although the hay fever isn't helping!

      I think it helped that I was the youngest, and a girl, and therefore could not be denied cwtches (cuddles) :) Although they were also soft with my brother and my cousins, I def. saw the softest side of all of them! :) <3

  3. Thanks for sharing - I really enjoyed this post.
    I hope you are feeling much better now.
    It's always great to read stories about people having great relationships with their fathers.
    I don't really acknowledge Father's Day because I grew up in a single parent home, but I am grateful for the male role models I have had in my life. I usually send my uncle a message and then I go about the day as normal.

    1. Thank you so much. :)

      And yes, I feel much better now, thanks. :)

      I realise how lucky I am to have such an amazing dad, especially when so many people sadly don't have a good and/or any relationship with their fathers. I'm happy you found love and support with your uncle, though :) <3


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