Nerd Church - Anticipatory Grief: Mourning Before Death

(Warning: this post discusses Coronavirus/ Covid 19, grief, mourning, bereavement, death, dying, and last illnesses)

People don’t talk about anticipatory grief.

Which means either they’ve never been through it, or they’re too mixed-up with the shame and the hurt to talk about it.

Which sucks. Because this is hard enough as it is, without pretending that it isn’t happening.

Disclaimer time:

I am not a counsellor, therapist, or other mental health, or medical, professional.

I am a chick with a blog who has been through some sh**.

If you need help, please seek it in the appropriate places. You're amazing, and you matter.

When someone you love is ill – like, the kind of ill where you don’t expect them to get better – it’s hard. It’s really hard.

And one of the things that’s hard about it is that you start grieving while the person is still with us. Maybe even planning things – running through funeral details in your head.

Friday Fics Fix - The Falcon, The Winter Soldier, and Healthy Coping Mechanisms

 

'“Look at me and tell me this doesn’t look like an accomplished person to you!” Sam was holding a giant teddy bear in his arms.'

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier (TFATWS) series means these characters are both living in my head rent-free.

Depending on what happens in the finale (released today!) we might all need the smooshy mental-health-based comfort of this fic. 

(Which comes complete with a slight dose of angst, because despite my apparent adulthood, I am a smol emo child, and you all know this.)

Comics Wrap-Up - So Tell Me Right Now, You Think You're Ready For It

 

It's Thursday, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier finishes tomorrow (*gasp*,) let's get some comics-y superhero-y goodness!

Review Time! - The Sigil by Shakeil Kanish and Larissa Mandeville

* = commission link

Title: The Sigil*

Author: Shakeil Kanish, Larissa Mandeville


Genre: Young Adult (New Adult crossover appeal,) Fantasy, Witches(-ish,) LGBTQ+ (relationships: M/M, side M/F, refs to F/F)

Buy with Amazon.com*

Nerd Church - How I Use True Crime Media To Boost My Mental Health (Yes, Really)

 

(Warning: this post discusses true crime, and though it avoids details of murders, it does reference various topics surrounding true crime. This post also discusses Depression/Anxiety.

Any links to other websites may have further details of true crime, though I've tried to avoid anything graphic; I am not responsible for the content on these sites.)

I find true crime media weirdly helpful with combatting the affects of my mental health problems.

I put true crime shows on the TV sometimes in the evening, to wind down before falling asleep.

I clamour to Netflix true crime to calm my Anxiety.

I watch true crime docs or YouTube videos while I'm working to help me concentrate.

Comics Wrap-Up - Paint These Walls In Pitchfork Red

 

It's Thursday, it's April, let's get some comics-y superhero-y goodness!

Nerd Church - But There Are No Saints, There Are No Sinners: The Extremes of Opinion When Public Figures Die

 

(Warning: this post discusses death (which you probably figured out,) suicide, grief, mourning, online abuse, domestic abuse, racism, colonisation, ableism, ageism)

Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, died on Friday. He was 99 years old, nearly 100.

...As seems to be the norm, the world then descended into extreme points of view.

Especially the Internet, obviously, because the Internet is like every extreme dialled up to the max.

Friday Fics Fix - Hargreeves Family Schmoop

 

'Diego drags a hand over his face, groaning. "I didn’t know meeting a six year old would take this much effort."'

This week's fic is just a schmoopy and super-cute li'l fic all about family!

(Woo!)

As we all know, (or maybe we don't, but if that's the case I'ma tell you!) the Hargreeves family, aka the members of The Umbrella Academy, have a butt-tonne of family issues.

Like, the tagline to the Netflix series is actually 'Super. Dysfunctional. Family.' and that pretty much sums it up, tbh.

So I kinds love fics where the Hargreeveseseses are like super-duper-awkward about family stuff, but somehow make it work (mostly because they never manage to make it work in canon!)

Comics Wrap-Up - Keep A Light On Those You Love

 

It's Thursday, the world is still pretty weird, let's get some superhero-y, comics-y, goodness!

Month in Review(s) - March 2021

(Warning: this post briefly discusses family ill health, mental health problems, and Covid 19)

So, dearest nerdlets: March!

March was better for me personally as Nan's health, although still exceptionally fragile, has been a little better and more stable. Hopefully it'll stay that way and/or keep improving.

Nerd Church - How Bloggers Always Have Ideas ...Sort Of

(Warning: this post briefly discusses the day-to-day affects of Depression/Anxiety)

Some of you might think this blogpost topic (i.e., blogging ideas) is a bit of a cheat – which, honestly? It kind of is.

But… that’s kind of the point? I guess?

No matter how long you’ve been blogging, you’ll have moments when you just don’t know what to blog about.

Either because your brain is producing nothing but white noise in answer to your increasingly frantic requests for blogging material...

...or because you can’t seem to string your ethereal ideas together into something readable, or at the very least coherent.

Friday Fics Fix - A Sam and/or Bucky Rec List

There is a permanent corner of my brain devoted to The Falcon and The Winter Soldier right now.

For those who don't know: this is a new Disney+ series set in the MCU (the Marvel superhero movies,) - particularly the Captain America corner where Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes live.

...metaphorically. Although I'm sure they'd think it was mildly hilarious to live on a street named after Cap.

Since I couldn't find any fanfiction based specifically on this series that I wanted to rec., I decided to trawl through my relatively extensive archive of fic recs to pick out a handful of my faves featuring Sam and/or Bucky.

(This is the upside of having a shared cinematic universe - the downside is catching up on content if and when you fall behind so that you know wtf is going on 😅)

If anyone has any recs for fics based on this current series, please send 'em my way!

Also, it struck me that I see far less quality fics about Sam than about Bucky, so if you know of any good Falcon ones, lemme know!

Comics Wrap-Up - While I Clean This Slate With the Hands of Uncertainty

 

It's Thursday, it may be April Fool's Day, but no tricks here - just comics-y, superhero-y, goodness!

Nerd Church - Outside of The Norm

(Warning: this post references Covid 19/Coronavirus, and Depression/Anxiety)

"How old are you then?" the adult asks; she's jolly, I do not appreciate forced jolliness. It's inauthentic.

"Six," I say... only it comes out 'thickth' because I've lost some of my baby teeth, and I have a decent gap between my front teeth anyway.

"Thickth," the adult responds, laughing.

I really do not approve of this mocking.

Friday Fics Fix - Be There, Angel

 

'If Aziraphale didn’t know better, he might have thought his friend was crying, but it had been centuries since he’d seen Crowley do that.'

 

This week's fic is from the Good Omens fandom - the Amazon Prime TV series based on the book by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman that I still haven't gotten around to reading (*gasps*!)

And I think what impresses me the most about this fic is the way that it somehow manages to weave the content of the fic almost seamlessly into the canon.

Comics Wrap-Up - You Can't Wake Up, This Is Not A Dream

 

It's Thursday, spring has sprung here in sunny Wales, let's get some superhero-y, comics-y, goodness!

What Happened Between Me and the UK Amazon Associates Programme: The Entire Story

(Warning: this post briefly references and details mental health problems (Depression/Anxiety))

Last December, I got kicked off the UK Amazon Associates Programme. 

I am so not happy.

I've tried pretty much everything to sort this out - but Amazon UK don't seem to care.

So I will do what I do in situations like this - I will put it all out there on the table, in it's full stalling-tactics, arbitrary, frustrating glory.

(This is a long one - feel free to bookmark it and come back, but I would really, really, appreciate you reading this. 💖)

My darling dearest nerdlets, you don't get rid of me that easy. 

I don't just 'leave it,' not when I know I did nothing wrong. 

I will keep going, again and again.

And so here we are...

Friday Fics Fix - Movie Night Is Kind Of Crowded

'For Klaus, there are – approximately – seven million people crammed into this slumber party, most of them screaming at the top of their lungs'

 

I read a lot of Umbrella Academy fanfiction, like a butt-tonne.

So yes, this week's fic rec is once again an Umbrella Academy fic.

Comics Wrap-Up - You're A Talented Guy, You Could Shake Hollywood To The Ground

 

It's Thursday, we all need a break from doom-scrolling (or, at least I do!) so let's get some comics-y superhero-y goodness!

Nerd Church - The Stark Difference Between Disney Villains' Motivations: Men Vs Women

 

(Warning: scratch the surface of Disney films, and there can be some very dark things underneath, so this post discusses: forced marriage, including to underage girls; murder; the fur industry; genocide.

There may also be SPOILERS for Disney films.)

Think of a Disney villain - there are a few great ones, right?

And I'm sure that we all have our faves, our least faves, our problematic faves.

And a Disney villain, at least traditionally in their animated movies, is as cut-and-dry good-vs-evil as you can get.

But I've noticed something lately - the motivations of Disney's female villains are a lot different to the male ones.

Quick Note: Yes, I'm using male and female as gendered terms synonymous with men and women, on account of social and practical interchangeability.

Friday Fics Fix - Locked In Space

 

'Across the top of the control panel, the AI’s official designation read: Security and Hazard Emergency Response LOCK (S.H.E.R.LOCK)'

You know I love originality in fanfiction dearest nerdlets.

And I have some more of it for you this week!

Comics Wrap-Up - You're Like A Shadow That Never Hides

 

It's Thursday, the world continues to be a weird and wonderful place, let's get some superhero-y, comics-y goodness!

Nerd Church - Covid 19: Years From Now, How Will We Explain?

(Warning: as you can probably tell, this post is about Coronavirus/Covid 19. 

It also references: anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theories, general 2020-ness, mental health problems, Trump, discrimination, ableism, systemic racism, and other systemic discrimination)

"My grandparents lived through the First World War and the Spanish Flu and all that," my mam said, "it's weird - they never talked about it much."

"Well," I said, "imagine explaining 2020, and the pandemic, to someone who's not even born yet. How could you even begin to make them understand?"

If a child asked, decades from now, 'what happened in 2020 and 2021? How did so many people die of Covid?' - what would you answer?

Where would we start? With the fires and the floods and World War Three trending at the beginning of 2020? 

Or would we just jump straight into the Lockdowns, the social distancing, masks, Covid testing, the race for a vaccine...?

Friday Fics Fix - In A Sense

 

'Bucky sucks in a crushed breath. Orange-black and pinned like butterfly wings.'

This fic is so beautifully written.

And you should all know by now that when I find a beautifully written fic, I'm gonna rec it!

Comics Wrap-Up - They Sell Presentable

 

It's Thursday, it's March, let's enjoy some comics-y superhero-y goodness!

Month In Review(s) - February 2021

 

(Warning: this post discusses Coronavirus/Covid 19 and mental health problems)

We are two months into 2021. Just two months.

I have nearly lost my Nan twice so far in 2021.

Covid (which she had in January) has been so damaging to her health... it's awful. 

If you're one of the people who thinks it's not that bad, or it's a hoax, or it somehow doesn't apply to you, then you can fuck off.

And yes, it kills me to write swear words without *s, but I'm leaving it in.

Nerd Church - The Serpent and Herman Knippenberg

 

(Warning: this post discusses the details of a real-life crime, as such it contains details of murder, drugging, and a serial killer)

This week, I finished watching the eight-part BBC series The Serpent.

Starring Jenna Coleman, Billy Howle, and Tahar Rahim, The Serpent is a drama based on the real story of a serial killer preying on tourists in a variety of countries along the Asian hippie-trail during the 1970s.

It's an excellent series, even though it’s not exactly easy viewing.

This blogpost is gonna have a few SPOILERS for The Serpent series, OK? 

SPOILERS, SPOILERS, SPOILERS!!!!

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Friday Fics Fix - I Am Utter Trash and Do Not Care To Hide It

'...“But when he doesn’t show up for pancakes it's good practice to make sure he hasn’t fallen down a manhole or something,”

Klaus resists the urge to hiss.'

You know I love novel (or novella) length fanfiction.

The beautiful dedication that it takes to write a piece like this always makes me smile.

Comics Wrap-Up - For Of Sugar and Ice, I Am Made

 

It's Thursday, it's February 2021, let's get some comics-y superhero-y goodness!

Nerd Church - Popular Vs Pretentious: I Read Martin Scorsese's Essay So You Don't Have To

 

Why are popular films, and popular media in general, somehow seen as unworthy?

Who decides what counts as Art anyways? 

Cos being asked to locate the grand-high judge of all things artsy films would not have me running to call Martin Scorsese (...who would totally take my call, because let's face it, I'm awesome and stubborn as a mule persistent.)

In a pretentious burst of overly-descriptive prose, Martin Scorsese's essay in Harper's Magazine was published this week to the irritation of many fans of superhero blockbusters and popular films.

Why? 

Well, Scorsese previously ran his mouth about Marvel movies in 2019, and it seems that even in this current piece about the artsy Italian director Federico Fellini, he couldn't resist some entitled barbs at films that people actually like watching.

It's titled, 'Il Maestro: Federico Fellini and the lost magic of cinema' because... why not? I guess?

Friday Fics Fix - Keep Calm and Carry On

* = commission link

'The massive box of 64 crayons calls to me, every one of them waiting to be picked and pressed to a page. (I could have gone for the box of 120, but that seemed like too much.)'

This week's fic is from a fandom that is super-popular, but also not especially well-known outside its core fanbase.

 ...which is why I'm going to do a very brief explanation of Carry On* aka the Simon Snowverse just so's we're all on the same page.

(I realise that a lot of die-hard fans are probably screaming that how could anyone not know about Simon Snow?! But we do not gatekeep here at Dora Reads, dearest nerdlets.)

(Fandom notes:

gatekeeping - also a non-fandom term, when used in fandom this typically takes the form of 'you're not a real fan of [insert fandom or genre or author, etc.] unless you've [insert arbitrary benchmark]')

Comics Wrap-Up - Bite the Lightning and Tell Me How It Tastes

 

It's Thursday, somehow it's only February, let's get some comics-y superhero-y goodness!

Everything is once again in the 'other stuff' category (dammit Loki!)

Month in Review(s) - January 2021

(Warning: this post discusses Coronavirus/Covid 19)

On a personal level, January sucked. Bad.

My beautiful Nan got Covid, and combined with her other health problems, despite the fact that she had very few symptoms, we nearly lost her. 

There are very few things more distressing than watching someone you love slowly fade away via video link.

Honestly? If you're STILL not taking Coronavirus seriously, you can fuck the hell off.

And, dearest nerdlets, you know how upset I have to be to swear without censoring myself. 

I really wanna delete a few letters and add *s, but I'm not gonna, cos despite the fact that I'm a nice well-brought-up Welsh girl, that's how annoyed I am, and how much you suck if you're one of the selfish people who still isn't taking precautions.

Nerd Church - The Only Valentine I Ever Got

 

The only Valentine I've ever actually received was when I was five or six years old.

It was on the back of half a birthday card, which I still oh-so-clearly remember the flowers on, and I believe was written in red pencil. 

It was definitely some form of pencil - maybe my brain just made up the red part, I dunno.

Friday Fics Fix - Being Everything You Are

 

'Klaus pushed down the nagging thought that maybe he was scared of judgement from Ben, if he let him in.'

Some fics are beautiful.

Maybe not because of how they're written - although there are beautifully written fics, of course, and I always highlight them to you, dearest nerdlets, when I come across them - but because of what they are.

This week's fic is beautiful, because of what it is.

This week's fic is an arm around the shoulders of Queer readers - this fic says it's OK, just to be you.

Comics Wrap-Up - I Can't Bring Back How It Used To Be

 

It's Thursday, the world is a weird and wonderful place, let's get some comics-y, superhero-y goodness!

Nerd Church - Depression Is...

(Warning: as you can probably tell, this post is about Depression. It also includes brief references to ableism, suicidal thoughts, suicidality, and passive suicidality.)

Disclaimer time!

I am not a mental health or medical professional.

I am someone with personal experience of Depression and Anxiety, and this post is based on my own experiences only. 

Mental health problems are intensely personal and therefore have a range of complex, varied, and valid experiences.

If you need help - PLEASE seek help. Getting in touch with a doctor or other help is scary, but so totally worth it - YOU are worth it. Please take care.

If you're in the UK or ROI, you can talk to The Samaritans about anything at any time. Check out their contact details here.

If you're not in the UK or ROI, you can check out this list of international suicide helplines.

Friday Fics Fix - Metaphorical Dirt Angels

 

'Klaus also had a tattoo on his arm of an umbrella inside of a circle. That image was the symbol of the Umbrella Academy, a group that had caused a whole lot of dissension among the Avengers.'

Comics Wrap-Up - Got Called An Alien For Bein' Myself

 

It's Thursday, it's February, let's get some comics-y, superhero-y goodness!

This week's is unintentionally super-queer (ha, super 😎) and is once again all in the 'Other Stuff' category (#BlameLoki).

Nerd Church - A Simple Sleep Game To Help You Get A Good Night's Snooze

(Warning: this post references Coronavirus/Covid 19. It also talks about sleep problems a lot, but you probably guessed that.)

I go through periods of having trouble sleeping through one thing and another, and with Covid Lockdowns very much in place, it wouldn't surprise me if other people are also having trouble dropping off.

(Ironically my main sleep problem right now has four paws, a tail, and wants to play at 3 in the morning.)

So, while there may be a variety of factors that might stop you from getting to sleep, and any number of things to help you actually fall asleep, I thought I'd let you in on my simple trick for nodding off.

Friday Fics Fix - After The Fall

 

'“Oh, you’re going to be a regular bag of charms, aren’t you?” Mycroft goaded.

“Oh, shut up Mycroft!” Sherlock yelled back.'

 

Sherlockian fanfiction rules, let's be honest.

No-one can work quite so hard as the Sherlockians to turn a positive dearth (...I love that word, shutup,) of canon into a total avalanche of fan content.

(Fandom notes:

Sherlockian = fans (especially fandom-interacting fans) of BBC's Sherlock TV series.

Canon = official stuff in a book/series/film/whatever)

Comics Wrap-Up - Don't Wreck Your Brain, It'll Be Alright

 

It's 2021, who knows what's coming next? Let's get some comics-y, superhero-y goodness!

Everything's in the 'Other Stuff' category again #BlameLoki

Month in Review(s) - December 2020

(Warning: this post references Covid 19/Coronavirus, and the UK's institutional Transphobia)

I know this wrap-up is epically late. 

Honestly, I considered combining it with January's 'Month in Review(s)' post, but I figure if 2021 is also going to be a sh**-show, it may as well be its own sh**-show, independent of the remnants of 2020.

So let's keep this super-brief because December 2020 was like forever ago!

Nerd Church - What's Behind the Covid Arts and Crafts Boom?

(Warning: this post discusses mental health problems, especially Depression and Anxiety, and the Covid 19/Coronavirus pandemic)

I've always been an artsy, craftsy, sort of person.

I'm one of these people who can never name their hobbies when asked, but actually has somehow accumulated so many hobbies that she can't physically fit them all in to her timetable.

(Part of the solution to that is to make some of your hobbies into your employment, but that brings its own challenges.)

And most of those hobbies are creative in some way.

So yeah, I'm a big fan of the arts and crafts!

Friday Fics Fix - Slightly-Stabby Protectiveness

 

'Klaus had been… animate when describing each of his siblings.'

 

OK, OK - I know, OK? I know.

...I rec'd an Umbrella Academy fic last week. I know.

I usually try to leave at least one week in between rec'ing fics from the same fandom (no, really, I do.)

Comics Wrap-Up - My Name Is No-One The Long Lost Son

 

It's Thursday, it's 2021, let's get some comics-y superhero-y goodness!

Everything I have for you this week is in the 'Other Stuff' category. #IBlameLoki

Nerd Church - The Writer Diaries: 4 Random Realisations About Writing

There's a couple of random things about writing that I've realised lately while working on my Work-In-Progress (WIP.)

I dunno whether this is me becoming more self-aware of my patchwork writing process - 

(I write in snippets and then attempt to stick them together... with varying results) 

- or whether everyone knows/has realised these things and I'm just now catching up (let me know!), but I figure'd I'd blog about them anywho! 😅

Friday Fics Fix - Haunting Metaphors (...and I'm Blaming the Coffee)

 (Warning: this post discusses mental health problems, as well as referencing abuse by parents.)

'Klaus blinked slowly, then nodded. “Yeah, what can I say? Some people just can’t accept that they’re f**king DEAD!”'

Now that I've finally finished watching Series 2 of The Umbrella Academy, it is of course time for some TUA fanfiction!

I'm Umbrella Academy trash, and proud of it! 😂😎

Comics Wrap-Up - These Words Are All I Have So I Write Them

 

It's Thursday, 2021 has had a bumpy start, let's get some comics-y superhero-y goodness!

Nerd Church - Dear 2021...

(Warning: this post talks about Covid 19/Coronavirus, and the political situation in the US)

Dear 2021,

You've had a rocky start, but that's OK.

You inherited a global pandemic and a facist US president - and it's gonna take a while for you to fix that, we know. 

I blame 2016, that year was a bad influence on everyone. The years after struggled to bring hope. 

Then when 2020 came along... well, I guess you know about that already.